The world is my idea. Wow, this sounds pretty darn egotistical, doesn’t it? I mean, aren’t I just a mere dust speck in the world? Yes, I am. And that idea of who I am is MY idea of who I am. It is something I constructed in my mind out of all that I have experienced of the world. You however may think you aren’t a mere speck of dust. You might think you are the most important being on the planet. I know some people who think that actually. And that is their idea of the world and their place in it.
My point is, don’t be fooled into thinking that your idea of the world is the world. It’s not. The world is the accumulation of everyone’s understanding of it AND it is well beyond all those definitions as well. So, to be more effective on this planet hold on lightly to your idea of the world. Allow that others’ ideas might have equal validity. They might not as well. Your job is to be open to listening to what that idea is and see if you can learn something from it. Maybe what you learn is that idea is toxic and dangerous or maybe you’ll find out that idea is sublime and healthy. Either way, knowing your idea is just one of many will help you grow and expand your mind and heart.
And don’t be afraid. You aren’t obligated to take on someone else’s idea just because you listen to it.
One day long long ago, when my first wife and I were headed towards a divorce, My wife was out and I was upstairs in the computer room seething about the situation. I was really, really angry. At the same time downstairs my daughters were being really noisy with each other. They were annoying me to no end. Instead of being calm and civil about it I stomped downstairs and yelled at them. One of them asked something along the lines of ‘Why are you so angry?’. At that point I had gone into the kitchen and had started to unload the dishwasher. I had about 6 full size stoneware dinner plates in my hand. I blew up, threw the plates as hard as I could straight down on the kitchen floor and yelled, “Because your mother hasn’t loved me for most of our marriage and forgot to tell me, THAT’S why!”
My words, actions and the breaking of the plates froze them in place where they were in the living room, eyes and mouths wide open in disbelief. It obviously scared the s**t out of them. It was, in my opinion, the single worst behavior I ever exhibited in front of my kids and I deeply regret any emotional damage it did to this day.
I calmed down almost immediately, apologized and started to clean up the broken plates. My wife came home right then and asked what happened. One of the kids said I had dropped some plates and my wife thanked me for cleaning it all up. I considered not saying anything and just letting her believe I was doing a good deed. But I didn’t. I responded to her compliment by telling her the truth. She later said that was one of the critical moments of our final year that tilted her towards divorce.
Girls, if you are reading this, I am still really sorry I did that.
No Blame
Now, of course, there was no way for my kids to know I was a pile of fresh s**t having a hot emotional day. They were not to blame in the least for my incredibly stupid outburst. I tell the story to illustrate that most of the time when we are confronted with a s**thead acting s**tty we haven’t done anything purposely to provoke him or her. We are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and aren’t to blame.
Philosophy of Life, Really?
So, how is this a philosophy of life? Well, in the small sense, when we know we don’t have to do anything to have s**theads come across our path way too often, there’s no reason on earth to make life even harder by purposely provoking a s**thead, right?
In the larger sense, it’s as simple as this, don’t do stupid things on purpose.
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Drawing and life story by Marty Coleman
Quote by Harry S. Truman, 1884-1972, 33rd President of the United States
