She was nervous singing in front of the congregation because she didn’t like her shape. Her hips were too small and her shoulders and chest were too big. Her knees were too knobby and her feet were too small. Her hands were too manly and her lips were too thin. She knew everyone was looking at her shape and judging it. She knew they thought she had a terrible shape and were laughing at her.
But she went out and sang anyway because she loved the song and thought it was such a good message about letting God shape you instead of being shaped by something or someone else. She had been liberated when she first realized she wasn’t a slave to culture or society or anything else. She could choose to be shaped by something greater than those things. It had transformed her life.
When she got off stage and the service was over she went to the furniture store to buy a new coffee table. She didn’t like the one she had because it was an odd shape. It was square and didn’t fit well in her living room. When she went in the furniture store a nice lady came up and asked her if she could help her find something. The lady had a very nice shape to her face, sort of heart shaped with a pointed chin and bee sting lips, which she always thought were the perfect shape for lips. She wished for years she had lips shaped like that and would have gotten lip injections to make hers that shape if she could afford it. She wondered if lips shaped like that were nice to kiss and thought if she was a man she would want to kiss lips like that. She bought a table that had a nice shape and was very happy.
When she was done at the furniture store she went to the gym to get in shape. She was out of shape since her family had got all bent out of shape about something or other, she forgot what. But now it was a new year and she was going to get in shape. When she got dressed into her workout clothes she noticed all the women who were in shape. They were in better shape than she was and it bummed her out. She wanted to be in shape like they were. She decided to do a weight lifting class because she heard it got you in shape really fast. It was very hard because she was so out of shape but she did it anyway. The women in the shower in the locker room after the workout were all in good shape. One of them who had been in the class with her said, ‘You did good today. Don’t worry you will be in great shape before you know it.’ That made her feel good and bad. Good because she was noticed, bad because she was noticed because she wasn’t in good shape.
As she drove home she came upon a car accident. It looked like the car had hit a guard rail, that was all crumpled and out of shape, and then a light pole that was also out of shape. She stopped her car and immediately called 911 and told them where she was and told the dispatcher the car was in really bad shape. She ran up to the car and saw someone in the front seat. It was the furniture lady and she was in bad shape. She was bleeding from a ragged shaped cut on her forehead, her lip was cut wide open and her arm was shaped funny, like it had been broken. She was able to pull the door open after three really strong pulls and got the furniture lady out and moved her off the road into the grass. She ran back to her car and grabbed her first aid kit from her trunk and found a perfectly shaped piece of gauze to cover her cut. She found another, smaller piece, that was just the right shape to cover her lip but still allow her to breathe. She laid her down in her lap and talked to her, telling her she was going to be ok and would be back in tip top shape in no time.
The ambulance came in just a few minutes and took over. The medical people got her in the best shape they could to transport her and then they were all gone. She went home and collapsed on her couch and fell asleep in an odd shape and woke up 10 hours later with a crick in her neck.
Mary and Martha had some time to spare before Jesus and the boys came to visit later in the week so they decided to go to the spa and pamper themselves. They did mani-pedis, massage, hot yoga, a salt room and finally a facial.
The facial consisted of an oatmeal and Frankincense Oil mask that was a popular anti-wrinkle compound of the day followed by an olive oil facial massage.
Mary enjoyed the entire day, indulging and relaxing in the serene environment. Martha tried to enjoy it but was only partially successful. She was too worried about the arrival of their guests and all the work that had to be done beforehand.
She also was annoyed by the stupid halo that was always lighting up her sister’s head. Mary was always the one people liked and talked to. She was a flirt and a social butterfly and it drove Martha crazy. She didn’t contribute nearly as much to making meals, cleaning up, getting the place ready. All she did was talk talk talk and get attention.
Martha meanwhile did most of the work and was ignored. “How could that be fair?”, she thought to herself. If that happened when Jesus and the gang came to visit she was going to give them all a piece of her mind.
I did the black and white ink portion of this drawing in January of 2003 at Borders Bookstore in Tulsa, OK. We dated for a number of months in 2002/2003 and remained friends after.
I left it as a black and white ink drawing in my sketchbook for 16 years. This fall (2019) I was going through old sketchbooks and decided I would finally ink it up with some color. And this is the result.
Drawing is one of my favorite ways to keep memories from the past.
Her walk home that morning allowed for thoughts on what had just happened. She wanted to believe she was free but her behavior told her she was not. However, she also believed she could change and be free in the future.
This was a quick sketch that didn’t have a defined background. I decided to work in some color well after the drawing was done and while doing so I thought it would be a challenge to see if I could make the clothing translucent. that led me into thinking of who this woman could be, what situation she could be in and I decided to put her in an intimate, personal setting thinking to herself.
‘The Weight’ pen and ink, acrylic paint on paper, 2019
Often times I don’t have the time or the position to draw the whole person. What happens is I see just one element of the person I like, in this case the high bangs, and I just work from there, making up the rest of the person and the scene out of my head.
‘In the Museum’ pen and ink on paper, 2019
When I was in college my first girlfriend had a bridge of her nose that pretty much went straight down from her forehead in a straight line with no dip below the brow. I found it very attractive, Romanesque is how I thought of it. I I can’t say she was my only inspiration but I often find myself drawing a straight line all the way down from hairline to tip of nose when making up a profile face. In this case I even went to opposite direction, making a bump where there is usually a dip.
‘Don’t Cut Me Down’ pen and ink on paper, 2019
I noticed a violin player at church wearing a Renaissance Peasant dress that stood out. I started from there and built the drawing around that image. The idea of the cut down tree has recurred in my drawings here and there over the years. The stump representing both a life cut short and a transformation of something into something else. I think of both when I see someone going through a trauma. It’s a death of sorts but it is also a rebirth into something new and unknown.
‘In The Waiting Room’ pen and ink on paper, 2019
I was waiting for an appointment to have my very sore right Achilles checked out (not the same one I had surgery on in 2016) and saw this women sitting very still opposite me. I wasn’t sure I would have enough time to get the entire scene but it was worth a shot. Turns out it took a while for either of us to be called so I was able to get the drawing done.
‘At the River’ pen and ink on paper, 2019
I was inspired by seeing a woman with hair that curved around her face but other than that this drawing is completely made up. In most of my drawings there is more room at the top and sides for a background but in this case her portrait fills the image so much that I only had a small area above and below. I thought I would try something different and not put in a horizon line and distant background like I usually do but instead draw what would be below her in the distance.
‘I Am Glad I Am An Artist’ – pen and ink on paper, 2019
This is a true story. I was in the men’s room before church and stood between to men while peeing. They were both older gentlemen (I know the drawing makes them look younger, oh well). They were talking about their retirement. I focused on what they were saying so I would remember it.
All I could think of as they talked was that I am so glad I am an artist because I don’t have to worry about retiring and having nothing to do. Artists ALWAYS have something to do.
‘What They Thought’ – pen and ink on paper, 2019
I drew these two women at a local cafe. I had the thought bubbles there for quite a while before I decided what to put in them. As I was painting the image much later I thought about how easy it is to imagine someone who is overweight thinking they are too fat and need to lose weight. But it’s not as nearly common to see a thin person and imagine they are thinking they are too skinny and need to gain weight.
It’s an assumption we make that is just another form of judgment. What’s the point of that judgment? What does it do for us?
The Anxious Parent’, pen and ink on paper, 2004 – 2019
I drew this in 2004 at Knox College where my daughter Connie was in her Freshman year. I was there for Parents Weekend and was attending a meeting on Study Abroad.
The woman was very intense and did say she was very worried about her child going abroad. I imagined her having a dream of danger and her husband calming her worries. It seemed like a nice idea to offset her obvious anxiety.
I came back to this drawing after 15 years and decided to paint it.
Drawing in church (or anywhere) is not restricted to drawing something or someone I am looking at. Here are 5 examples of the range, from starting with a real person but adding a made-up background to doing something abstract that has no connection to a world outside itself.
The Violinist’s Hand
The drawing is of a real person…sorta. She is the violinist in church that I draw frequently. But I am not being hired to draw her portrait so I am not particularly concerned about it looking exactly like her. I have certain parts that I hope I get right and I work at that, but just like an author will tell you, sometimes the character takes on a life of their own. In the artist’s case, the lines made and the colors chosen have reasons, some known some unknown, that go beyond a likeness to the individual and into an idea, feeling or mood.
The background obviously isn’t from church. I created it to build on the idea of her looking off in the distance and hoping for help. After I drew the background I came up with what she might be thinking. I penned that in and was going to leave the last word off but then thought it would be interesting to finish the quote with a visual instead of a word.
The Stained Glass Singer
Here is another example of starting with a person, in this case a choir member. This time it looks like I went even further away from a standard portrait but it didn’t start that way.
That happened later, when I was in my studio studying the drawing. That is when I started to see the facets in her face and thought about defining them. I have done that many times before over the decades and it’s always a fun exercise to work on.
But what made it special this time was realizing that building those up could turn her into a stained glass window. It seems like a perfect thing to do.
Sad Girl
The only thing remotely connected to a real person here is a general shape of the face, but even that is exaggerated. It was just a shape I saw and remembered as I passed someone in the hall of the church.
The rest of the drawing I wasn’t looking at anybody or thinking about anyone in particular. The initial line drawing of the shape gave me a melancholy feeling so I drew the rest of the portrait to match that.
I chose the blue and yellow stripes of the hair first. The shirt was a solid at that point but I felt one solid block of color would be too heavy at the bottom. I liked the idea of something bridging the two sides of her so I added stripes to the shirt. It also allowed me to create a sense of volume to her body.
Sometimes a situation arises that causes you to make a decision you otherwise would not make. I started filling in the pink background on the left and slowly realized the marker was running out of ink. In most cases I would just refill but I didn’t have any refill ink. So, I had to consider what could I do on the opposite side if I wasn’t going to use the same color. I liked the idea of using a cool color to break up the symmetry of the image and to cast a different mood to the two different sides so I went with a pale green.
At the very end I did not like the big blank space between her eyes and her mouth so I decided to add her blushing. It seemed just the right finishing touch to the image and her melancholy.
The Aliens
Sometimes the distance between what you start with and what you end with is light years away. I ended with a couple of goofy aliens landing on earth. But what I started with was a breast.
I had this idea, yes while in church, of a nude woman floating in the air. So, I drew a breast to start. I realize two things at this point. One, I made the breast too big to make my idea of a whole person floating feasible and two, church might not be the best place to draw this image even if it did fit.
So, what to do? I contemplated what I had and saw a possible space ship. One shaped like a flying breast it’s true but I figured I could make that not so apparent.
And of course a space ship has to have aliens so I decided to make them look like bumbling boobs, just for fun.
Spiral #7
Sometimes I am completely in my head at church, not looking at anything. This is the case with this drawing of spirals, one of a series I have been doing lately.
While it is completely abstract (meaning no reference to anything beyond itself) that does not mean I am not considering the possible ideas that might come from the drawing.
In this case I was very deliberate about having the four quadrants be mirror images of the diagonal quadrant and to have the colors be the same. At this point my thoughts are about how the colors are reflecting groups of people and how they interact – tribes, colonies, and yes churches.
That doesn’t mean I expect someone looking at this drawing to see that, or to see anything at all. It’s just where my mind meanders as I am creating these sorts of images.
The great thing about art, and in particular abstract art, is that everyone is right in their opinion. There is no absolute truth in art. What you want it to mean, it means.
In the Book of Revelation there is a terrible dragon. Here is how it is described: “Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crown on its heads.” Rev. 12:3
Well, this isn’t that dragon. This is Antenna, that dragon’s younger sister. She’s not talked about in the bible, probably to preserve the older one’s evil reputation. Antenna isn’t terrible and evil. She’s just trying to make her way in the world.
Her name is Antenna because she was conceived on an antenna. The antenna didn’t fare too well in that tryst and had to be replaced but it still held fond memories for her mum and dad.
Each head also had her own name; Liza, Milly, Ruth, Martha, Alice, Sarah and Dorcas, which they got after their parents watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers on late night TV.
Antenna had one baby dragon with 3 heads. It was a boy named Laundromat because that is the building on top of which he was conceived. That building fared okay after just a few repairs. The 3 heads were named Babe, Lou and Joe because the father was a big Yankees fan.
Antenna had a hard time early in life because of her older brother’s terrible reputation. She always wanted to defend her brother as just being misunderstood, but it was hard when he basically was responsible for all sorts of cosmic death and destruction wherever he went.
She tried to make up for it by being very nice to everyone she met. That also was not easy since the heads all had their own personalities. Some were quite rude, some were quiet introverts and a couple were just big loudmouths. It was really quite annoying at times but she did the best she could.
She eventually moved to the northern coast of California and lived among the Redwoods where she didn’t look nearly as big and scary to those who came to visit. She worked as a rescue specialist helping to find people lost at sea or in the forest. She retired at age 812 and spent the rest of her years giving tours to Japanese tourists who came to see the big trees and dragon.
Her son Laundromat (Launny for short) became a nano-engineer with a number of high-tech start ups and had 49 patents by the time he was 531.
The Elegantly Dressed Beautiful Woman | Ink on Paper | 2004-2018
‘The elegantly dressed beautiful woman with the cat as her carry-on wearing black and an orange scarf and visiting her parents in San Diego who can’t have pets and thinks her nose is bigger than I drew it but was flattered and thinks I am lucky.’
I created the line drawing portion of this drawing in December of 2004 while at the airport waiting to go to San Diego. The woman and I kept in touch and I sent her a photo of the drawing. 14 years later I decided to finish it with color.
