by Marty Coleman | Jun 23, 2014 | Sigmund Freud, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I would be insulted if you didn’t look at offering #4 of ‘The Illustrated Insult’ series!
Sticks and Stones
I’ve let words stop my progress in life a LOT more than I’ve let physical setbacks. You wouldn’t think so given my physical history. I cut myself falling over things hundreds times as a kid, stubbed my toe every day, got sunburnt, fell off bikes and skateboards regularly. I bodysurfed my way into faceplants in the sand, snow skied into trees going down expert slopes I never should have been on, kicked sprinklers hidden in ivy while running full bore looking for a lost tennis ball. I’ve run marathons that had me wiped out and promising to never run one again. And of course there was the boat explosion I’ve mentioned before where I was blown up and burned on 70% of my body.
None of these physical accidents, stupidities, injuries, wounds, etc. ever help me back from anything (once I recovered of course). I didn’t move ahead with doubt or fear. Maybe I moved forward with a bit of wisdom (I hope) but I still felt confident I could tackle whatever I wanted, including those same things that had caused the injury.
Words Will Ever Hurt Me
But here is the curious thing, I have let my career be stopped again and again by words. Harsh words of critique, the absent words of praise, the second-hand words of gossip, the unspoken but assumed words of disdain or condescension, the ‘helpful’ words of correction. Why is it that I, someone supposedly confident (and I am to a large degree) is stopped in his tracks by mere words? Why are these such powerful insults to my psyche? What is the difference between ‘sticks and stones’ and ‘words’?
I would like to hear your ideas and stories about this.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian Neurologist and Psychoanalyst
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The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 19, 2014 | Anonymous, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
Mickey and Me
Ever since I was a kid I was told I looked like Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees. My buddies and I convinced a clerk at a McDonalds once that I was his younger brother and she gave me a free coke because of it. I even had someone put his photo on my FB page claiming he was my doppelganger.
Hot or Not
Now, if you ask me, I don’t think Mickey is all that handsome. And those who say I look like him aren’t necessarily giving me a compliment, they could easily think he isn’t all that handsome either. They may think he is, as I do, sort of squinchy-faced, a bit too rough and blockhead looking, for their taste. Then again, they may find him very handsome. Plenty of people have, after all. I can assume then, that among those same people, some find me handsome, some don’t.
So, that made me wonder how others thought about this. What about you? Do you find those who look like you attractive, ugly or something else altogether?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who also has been told he’s looked like the following over his life; Taylor Lautner (played Jacob in Twilight), Butch Patrick (played Eddie on The Munsters), Brandon Cruz (played Eddie on ‘Courtship of Eddie’s Father ), Jason Alexander (played George Costanza on Seinfeld), Steve Martin, Tommy Smothers and “you know, that guy in the movies…what’s his name?”
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 17, 2014 | George Eliot, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I am crowing about today being day #2!
Cock a Doodle Doo
Last year my wife and I went to St. John in the US Virgin Islands. It was a fantastic vacation with only one thing that wasn’t great; cocks. We were staying in a beautiful cottage that was up a steep road, overlooking Coral Bay. Down below were small homes of full timers who lived and worked on the island. And they all had roosters. A lot of roosters. And all these cocks crowed. Some didn’t just crow when the sun rose. A few started crowing at about 2am and they didn’t stop crowing sometimes until maybe 6pm. That is a lot of crowing. Luckily it was an almost an imperceptible background noise during the day. It was only at night that it was annoying, waking us up. We unfortunately had to close the sliding glass door to muff the sound instead of being able to enjoy the beautiful night air.
Cocky Men
It occurred to me that this all day cock crowing was an appropriate analogy for some men. Some men crow when they get up, some men crow at other parts of the day. But there are some men who just crow all the time. They might crow incessantly because they are horny, or angry, or insecure, or power hungry or something else. But the one thing they all have in common, no matter their root motivation, is they want all the attention all the time. And they think they deserve it. ‘The world revolves around me and deservedly so’ is their spoiled thought.
Enabling
Where does this come from? If I had to guess, it would often be from an enabling mom and dad. The mom feeds the boy everything they need, always making them the center of attention, never demanding they share the limelight with others, or share the work load of life. It’s a peculiar form of enabling and spoiling mothers can sometimes do (it’s not restricted to boys, girls can be raised the same way). And how do dads contribute to this? By being a grown up little boy, also not sharing the limelight or the workload.
Another reason is very likely simple hormones. A horny guy is going to crow. He may not crow about sex, as a matter of fact he probably won’t be crowing about sex, but he is likely going to crow about something; maybe work, maybe family, maybe sports. In other words, men can be real dicks until there is some resolution (or distraction) for his issue. This isn’t about all men of course, but it’s about enough men to make it worth taking note.
Sexual Assault and Rape
If it was just a lot of talk, it would be bad enough, but in light of all the college campus and church issues of sexual assault and rape (to name just two areas of concern) you can see it leads to not just blustering talk, but to terrible and damaging actions as well. It’s not a good thing and men need to take notice of it as a real and dangerous character trait of entitlement that needs to be put in it’s place by men who see it in action among their friends.
Who the Sun Actually Rises For
I have four daughters so I can’t say exactly what I would do with a son. But I have a pretty good idea that I would make sure he understood that the sun actually rose to greet his mother, not him, and he sure as heck better help his mom (and the rest of the family) if he wants to share some of that light.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by George Eliot, 1819-1880, English author. George Eliot was the pen name for Mary Ann Evans.
George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
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He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 16, 2014 | The Illustrated Insult 2014, Winston Churchill |
The truth is, it would be an insult for you not to read day #1 of ‘The Illustrated Insult’.
The Truth
Do you know people who do everything in their power to avoid the truth? It might be the truth about themselves, about their failed relationships, their job woes, their looks, their spouses, or something else. I have known some people like that in my life. Actually, I have BEEN one of those people. A perfect example is someone who drinks heavily and makes excuse after excuse about why their drinking isn’t that big a deal. I did that. I finally realized that the problem was never going to go away via the avenue of blaming others or finding rationalizations. It would only go away if I recognized what was tripping me up was me and that I had to something about it.
It’s You
That is the hard part, realizing the solution to the truth you are stumbling over is you. The stone in the road may not be self-inflicted. It may be your spouse or your job or your drinking or worse yet a civil war or a natural disaster. it can be any number of things. But solving it always starts with you. You have control over you. Not complete control of course, but certainly more control than over someone else or many outer circumstances.
Even When it’s Not You, It’s You
But what if it is outer circumstances? What if your job sucks? What if you are being abused by your husband or wife? What if you spouse put you in terrible debt? You can blame all those people and circumstances if you want, and it is good to properly evaluate who is doing what wrong. But once you realize that, you still need to make your choice as to how to respond. It’s still you that needs to take action, recognizing the truth and doing something about it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British Politician. The quote was originally about a specific male, using He and Himself, in the quote. I changed it, as I sometimes do, to bring attention to the all to common linguistic assumption that everything is about men, not women.
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She occasionally stumbled over the truth but hastily picked herself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened
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