“I’m Not Racist” and other lies I told myself.

by Marty Coleman | Jun 3, 2020 | Racism - 2001-2016, Series | 0 comments

I used to say both these things. Now I am older and wiser and don’t say them anymore. I don’t for at least two reasons. One, they weren’t (and aren’t) true and two, they didn’t (and don’t) help anything even if they were true.

So, why did I think they were true? Because I didn’t do anything immediately and concretely racist. I was consciously not racist as far as I could figure. I accepted people of any race as I met them in my work, my school, my church or anywhere else. If we got along it wasn’t because of race and if we didn’t get along it wasn’t because of race either. It was because of some other reason, some other compatibility. That proved I wasn’t racist, right? In my mind it did.

In the New Testament there is a passage where the Paul speaks of now seeing through a glass darkly but one day seeing face to face. That is how I feel about my understanding of race in America. I used to be so sure of my ‘non-racist’ lineage that I didn’t realize how little I really saw in that glass. But then, little by little, I experienced, listened, heard, read, thought, discussed, watched, wrote, created, and met. And, while sometimes I argued with myself and others about these things, I wasn’t so invested in my own opinion that I wasn’t able to eventually see some deeper realities.

Reality 1a – I cannot know the totality of the Person of Color experience. I should not pretend I do.
Reality 1b – I can however, use my creativity to imagine if I was someone else what that experience might be like. It’s not total understanding, but it is a starting point for empathy and understanding. But it is just a starting point.

Reality 2a – I can admit I have both residual racism from my past and current racism from my present in me and not condemn myself for having either of those things.
Reality 2b – I cannot however, live with this knowledge and not act to change it within myself and in others around me. If I don’t step up to do that then I am deserving of condemnation. At that moment I become complicit.

Reality 3a – Being ‘color blind’ is a virtue. We want to be color blind when we work, play, interact. We want to treat everyone as equals.
Reality 3b – Being ‘color blind’ is NOT a virtue. It is akin to an ostrich putting its head in the sand, looking around and saying ‘everyone looks the same to me.’ They look the same because you aren’t in a position where you can see anyone at all, you are blind. We want to see color, because seeing color is a starting point for acknowledging the history of others and society. It isn’t enough of course, you can’t just see a person’s color and make a definitive judgment anymore than you can judge a person to be physically beautiful or handsome and then projecting that they must be good and wholesome. We all know that is not true. It is the same with color. It tells us something, but it doesn’t tell us everything.

Reality 4a – This is a river you can sit beside and watch flow by. It is unlikely to overflow its banks most days and as a result you can just witness it from a safe vantage point. You never have to dip your toe in, you can just watch. Even if it does overflow, chances are you can climb up the banks to your patio and still be safe, or so you think.

Reality 4b – This is a river that is asking you to step in. That step means risking getting swept away. It is dangerous and once you are in the flow you can’t get out at the same location you first dipped your toe in. It will tumble you through rapids that will bruise your ego and jostle your pre-conceived notions. It might even cause you to leave some friends or family behind for a while as you move to a new destination. It can be scary. But make no mistake, taking that trip down the river will change your life, and the lives of many others (of all races) for the better.

Like I said earlier, I see through a glass darkly at this point. I know my revelations are pathetically inadequate for some and at the same time they may be profound for someone else. Isn’t that the truth about this issue in general? Don’t we have to allow we are all somewhere unique? This person is on the bank of the river, fearful and angry. This other person is in the deep swirling water at the roughest part of the river and needs a hand. That’s why we need to be merciful and helpful to all in our efforts to understand and change, to move our nation and the world forward little by little.

© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com

Quote by Dick Gregory, 1932 – 2017, African-American Activist and Comedian. Read up on him here.