First napkin i’ve drawn in many, many months. We moved from Oklahoma to Texas and pretty much all my art has been on hold for all of 2020 so far. But to be honest, I wasn’t drawing on napkins much in 2019 either, or 2018. But I have been drawing in my sketchbook regularly and that held more interest for me so that is where I focused my attention.
Anyway, I wasn’t planning on doing a napkin drawing but I was sitting at in my studio watching and contributing via zoom with our community group from our old church in Tulsa. The technology was a bit wonky that day and I got a bit bored so I picked up a napkin and just started drawing. We were talking about some serious issues within the church, primarily the role of women. Our community group is filled with strong, intelligent women who fight the good fight every day to have more equality for women in every area of church leadership and activity.
The truth is, if you are going to affect change in any institution, you are most likely going to do it from the inside, which means you have to pick your fights. Fight too much and your ability to influence diminishes. Fight too little and the status quo wins the day. It’s not an easy path for them (or the men who support them) and they understandably get frustrated often.
So, while I was listening to the discussion I thought of how hot potato (or button but a button was not as fun to draw) issues can only be held tight for so long, then you have to drop them, let them cool before you pick them up again. You aren’t giving up the fight, you are being strategic about when to fight.
After all, the goal is not to fight. The goal is to win. If you can win without a fight, great. But you are always ready to fight if you have to.
Until quite recently I was a Running Coach. One of the things I would often ask as we gathered for our group warm up was this: Why are we here? Of course there are many reasons and we would go through all of them over the course of a season. But one reason in particular stood out recently when I went out for a run, my first since the Coronavirus situation hit hard here in Oklahoma.
Why are we here? Because we want to be fit and ready for whatever life throws at us. I would say to my runners, ‘If a disaster strikes in some way in your life, do you want to be fit or unfit? The answer is, you want to be fit.’ Back then I was thinking about if you got sick, lost a job, had to move, had a natural disaster, got a divorce or something else. Now I think, what if you found yourself in the middle of a world-wide pandemic? The answer to the question is the same: we want to be fit. Not only to protect us from the disease, but to help us deal with the physical, mental and emotional issues that come up as we go through this period.
I thought about this in depth as I was running that day. I was running fast and enjoying it but it was getting a little tough and I was doubting whether I could finish the 6 miles at the same pace I was doing mile 1 & 2. Then I thought about all the training I had been doing over the course of the last many years. The truth was I was fit and ready to take on this challenge and there was no legitimate reason I couldn’t finish what I started. So I left my doubts behind and kept up my pace in spite of it getting harder and hurting more. And what happened? I got faster as the miles wore on, finishing with my fastest mile (7:44) and with a new personal record (PR) of 50:24 for the 10k distance .
Why did that happen? A few reasons. One, I am fit physically. Two, I have done seriously hard marathon races that I thought were going to flat out kill me, but they didn’t. Third, I know that when I start to think too far ahead I need to pull back and run the mile I am in. Anticipating what might happen up ahead, having a head filled with ‘what ifs’ is a danger. It can paralyze you so that you don’t push forward with what you know you can do.
Translate that into facing your personal coronavirus circumstances. Yes, the circumstances are harsh. It might be a scary inconvenience like it is to me (for the most part) or it might be an existential threat. But wherever you are on that spectrum you know one thing, you are fit and you are ready. You understand you can suffer a LOT and still make it through. You know that discipline is essential for the long run, and that is what we are in now, a very long run.
She wanted to go to the Forum where she could show off her new hairdo and earrings and watch wrestling and talk and eat and flirt and listen to people say profound things and maybe get a mani/pedi. She would see her friends and have fun, laughing and enjoying the day.
She didn’t want to walk all the way up the hill and look at disgusting dead people on crucifixes all by herself. It was hot and her feet would get dirty and there would be flies and vermin and the smell would be aweful. Plus, people might see her up there and think she is somehow connected to those dead people and then people would start talking and not want to be around her.
She stood there a long time before she made her choice.
I think this might make an interesting T-shirt for a lot of interesting women. They are busy with their interesting lives, doing interesting things and aren’t interested in men being interested in them just because they look interesting.
