I play with a broken string. Even if I replace it, I know another one will break soon enough. I have to choose, do I give up and never play again or do I play with the instrument I am given, broken string and all?
My choice is to play. That is what I am asked to do. And in this life that means I need to be open, not to a one time resurrection, but to a daily one.
I drew this and wrote the commentary 7 years ago today. Still true.
Open Air
Why do we think skin equals sin? Why is the exposing of skin seen as dirty? Obviously in breastfeeding a mother shows her breast. If she is in public she might cover her breast with a blanket. But it’s also possible that she might choose not to cover, maybe because the child gets fussy under the blanket, maybe because she likes to watch her child nurse, maybe she likes the feel of the open air. Whatever her reason and whatever her choice there will be someone who feels it’s wrong, dirty or rude for her to nurse in public, no matter what.
It’s Your Fault
This gets to the heart of a persistent idea. It’s the idea that the woman is to blame for the actions of the man. It usually boils down to one thing, she showed too much skin. Whose fault is it if a man reacts rudely, even violently to a woman showing ‘too much skin’? In this persistent idea it is the woman’s fault. Why? Because you can’t expect a man to be able to control himself in the face of that much skin showing.
Self-Control
I, as a man, am offended by this the same way a woman would (and should) be offended by a comment saying a woman can’t control her emotions so she can’t be trusted in important roles in public life. The same is true with the ‘skin’ argument for men. It is not the case that men can’t handle it. It is the case that when men SAY they can’t handle it they are using it as an excuse for their own bad behavior. They are rationalizing their inability to have some self-control by blaming it on others. It’s not the ‘other’ who is to blame. It is the man.
This will sound funny coming from an artist but for a long time I used to think artists who said, “I have to do art to express what I can’t any other way.” were sort of copping out. I didn’t really get it. Then the Orange Man came along. I’ve been drawing the Orange Man for 3 years now and it’s a series I wish I wasn’t compelled to do, but I am. I can’t express my disgust any other way. Words just aren’t enough for me.
I drew this 10 years ago today. Still true. Commentary is new.
One of the most oft repeated public events in our world today is the airing of a person’s ‘sins’ and the response from that exposed ‘sinner’. Yes, I am using the word ‘sinner’ on purpose, because it fits how people look at the infraction. We aren’t seeing it as slight breaking of some rule, like jay walking, we are seeing a perceived moral failure.
You name the person; Trump, Weinstein, Huffman, and more and there is harsh judgment not only for the infraction but for the public apology for the infraction. Why is that?
Because it’s talk vs action. They acted immorally but their immediate response is to talk morally. We inherently don’t like that. That is why we crave punishment. We want the immoral act to be balanced by another act, not by words. Nice words are not enough.
What we want is to see the person who dug the hole with his or her actions to dig out of the hole with actions as well. That is why redemption takes time and why most people who find themselves in a deep hole they created should say whatever mea culpa they need to say, knowing it is insufficient, and then shut up and start acting to get out of the hole.
The action might be incarceration, it might be charity, it might be exile, who knows. None of that matters though if the most critical action, the action that has to be there, isn’t implemented, and that is self-awareness. The sinner has to recognize they have sinned, they have to decide to take action to change their thinking and their behavior and then they have to take that action and never stop.
And what is our obligation in all this? I believe we err when our judgment is so harsh that we don’t allow that they actually may have dug themselves out of the hole with actions, not words, and that they deserve to be given a second (or third or fourth) chance. It doesn’t mean they get to be back in their same position of power over others, it simply means we allow that they have done the work and deserve a chance to do or be something better than they were.
