I hate it when… I don’t understand how people can… Why don’t they just…
When I am in an annoyed mood I can often catch myself starting thoughts with those words. Or I might say to myself, If only people didn’t have such destructive and dangerous habits. If only they could control themselves. Don’t they know they could have a better life if only they didn’t do that, or did do this?
When do I say these things in my head? When I am most annoyed with myself. I am running late, I forgot to do something at work, I completely forgot an important appointment. And now I am driving through traffic yelling at slow drivers, or I am fuming at someone at my keyboard, wanting to write an email to tell them off because they did this thing they always do that is SO annoying.
But when do I look at myself? All the time actually. I see my ‘flaws’ my bad habits, my shortcomings. And what do I do? Well, sometimes I change them. I’ve had some success, for example I stopped drinking 26 years ago and never looked back. That’s pretty good, right? But for every thing I have addressed there are other things I have not, or if I have, it was only after years and decades of avoiding facing them and even when I did, it was more realization and mild adaption than it was a complete change.
Why don’t I yell and scream at myself? Because I forgive myself. Because I know my motives are good. I know I am trying and that makes me feel ok about it. And when I am at my best I have that attitude towards others as well. They deserve my sympathy and forgiveness, just like I give myself. They deserve to not be judged, but understood.
But when I am not at my best I question their motives. I question their commitment. I question their true desire to change. They are just skating along, not trying, not caring, not worrying. They don’t deserve my sympathy or forgiveness, they deserve my judgment since I understand how pathetic they are being.
And that gets me where exactly? It gives my ego a false boost that doesn’t last. It gives me a self-righteousness that is dangerous and isn’t deserved and it gives me a way to avoid caring about people who need care.
And those things suck, do no one any good, and do not make you feel better about yourself. The more I am able to practice sympathy, understanding, listening, forgiveness, humility, the less I will practice judgment and condemnation.
And this is the truth – we become what we practice.
“Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.”
Do you believe this quote? I am not sure if I do or not. Sometimes I look at the church and it’s a dismal failure in every way imaginable. Then I look at that same church and I see action that proves it is living out the creed.
I guess that is the sad reality of Christianity (and most religions if one is honest). We have ideals and we want to live up to them but we like talking about them more than we like taking the action necessary to make them real in our lives.
When you refuse to learn or understand, when you revel in your prejudice, and when you don’t have critical thinking skills to discern the difference between facts and propaganda then you become victim to demagogues who are only interested in their own ego and don’t care about you, America or any ideals America stands for.
Four years ago a Korean woman, Jessica, contacted me and asked if she could use a napkin drawing of mine in a book her team was writing in Korea. I said yes and quickly forgot all about it. I don’t remember now if she paid me or not.
Fast forward 4 years and I get a call from some foreign country on my cell phone. I am not going to answer it, thinking it is likely a scam call. A few weeks later I get an email, that I almost throw away since it too seems to be just another foreign spam email.
Something about it seems legit though so I read it. It’s from Jessica and she says the book is now ready and she wants to send me a copy. She wants me to call her. At this point I figure it’s legit even though I don’t recall it at all. I call her and she reminds me a bit about our interaction and tells me that the book took a lot longer than expected to finish but now it is done and she wants to send me a copy. I was really looking forward to getting it since I had no idea what drawing I had even sent her!
And now, a few week later here is the book! It’s a book about the economies of 7 different countries around the world. It is dense with charts and figures. Every once in a while there is a photo that shows the location or the people in that country. And every once in a while there is a cartoon or drawing that is illustrating some idea they want to get across.
What my drawing is illustrating I would never have had a clue if it weren’t for the letter Jessica included in with the book.
Front CoverMy drawing – illustrating something about the Brazilian economy after it’s collapse earlier this decade.
So now I guess I can tell people I have been published in 3 different countries, right? (I already have napkin drawings in an entire book about napkins published in Norway.)
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”, said Freud, or Marx (Groucho that is). If you say this quote you are also saying sometimes it’s not a cigar, it’s a symbol representing a penis. That is what complex looking is all about, seeing what is there and seeing what might be behind what is there; maybe an intent, a joke, or a hidden agenda.
For example, there is a hand gesture that I recently learned has not one, but two meanings. It’s your index finger touching your thumb to make a circle. It means everything is A-OK and until this year that is all I ever knew it to mean. But I’ve been told it also means white supremacy. I am not sure of the history behind it becoming a symbol of that but it is now something that can be interpreted to mean that, especially if it’s displayed upside down.
Sometimes it isn’t visual, it’s verbal. A politician says ‘Nationalism’ and it doesn’t JUST mean having pride in one’s country. It also means they want to preserve the existing power structure that they feel is threatened by outsiders. Which outsiders? Well, according to our current President, those outsiders are not Norwegians. They are Mexicans, South Americans, people from ‘shithole’ countries in Africa and Muslims from countries in the Middle East. They are the outsiders that are threatening our nation, not the good white people of Europe.
It behooves us to always LOOK clearly at what is going on underneath the obvious.
