by Marty Coleman | Apr 8, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
A Short Short Story
Transcript:
5 seconds in her mind while we were in a church and she was in front of us and I watched her for a while before I made this up
Second One: I am alone, I am still cold, I wish I was married, I wonder if I am getting sick.
Second Two: I don’t think I am sick; it’s just allergies, I need to pay attention & eat better but lunch sounds good maybe a cheeseburger. No, a salad.
Second Three: No, maybe I will skip lunch and fast. I need to pray more so I can lose weight & be happier. Maybe just 20 pounds.
Second Four: But I am already happy I think because I am saved and that means I am going to not go to hell. I think I don’t chew well.
Second Five: But if I lose weight I will have to buy new clothes and I am broke. I am going to close my eyes now just for a little while then I will fell better again maybe.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
Model unknown
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 20, 2014 | Marty Coleman, Meh Meh Mediocrity - 2013 |
Today is the appropriate day to talk about Christianity’s love affair with mediocrity.
The ‘Inappropriate’ Outfit
A friend of mine who has modeled for our photography group here in Tulsa attends a fashion design college. She was called out in front of her classmates recently for her ‘extremely inappropriate’ choice of clothing by her teacher. She said it was inappropriate because the college was a ‘christian college’.
She was quite upset by the confrontation because she takes great pride in her fashion choices and styles. It was embarrassing and humiliating for her. The outfit consisted of a typical black tank top and black long pants along with a black leather jacket. I have seen a photo of her outfit and it is well within acceptable bounds for a young woman in America, especially at a fashion design school. It seems to me that it was an act of public shaming on the part of the teacher that isn’t easy to explain.
Slut Shaming?
It made me start thinking about Christianity’s obsession with ‘appropriateness’. Why did this teacher think the outfit was inappropriate? Were there men ogling the student? Were women whispering behind her back? Were her private parts showing? Maybe the teacher herself was unable to concentrate because she was so distracted by the outfit? Did the teacher think my friend was in danger of appearing too ‘loose’ or ‘slutty’ and would get sexually assaulted as a result?
Reputation and Judgment
I actually don’t think the teacher thought any of those things. I think the teacher’s reputation was threatened. I think she, and many Christians, wants a world where no one can question their appropriateness. And to do that they have to make sure no one thinks they approve of others who are supposedly inappropriate. Not just other people, but whole arenas of activity and effort in the creative world; fashion, art, music, dance, film. They are quick to judge because they themselves are worried about being seen as insufficiently righteous if they don’t.
Christian Mediocrity
What is the result of that mindset? The result is mediocrity. They are firmly planted in the safe middle with safe music, safe art, safe fashion, safe film. They don’t have to consider new creative ideas and images because they have already have a handy pre-judgment at hand that declares those ideas and images as inappropriate. And something judged to be inappropriate, even without good reasons behind the judgment, can be dismissed without consideration.
And mediocrity thrives when new ideas aren’t allowed to be considered.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 19, 2014 | Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts - 2012-2013, Marty Coleman |
Last we saw them, the bodyless Ghirl Ghosts were having a Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts Weekend. Meanwhile, their Ghost babies were being baby sat back home.
Ghost Babies
Wait… you didn’t know ghosts had baby ghosts? Yep, they can. If the ghosts have bodies they have babies the normal ghost way, through their ghost private parts. But if they are bodyless Ghirl Ghosts like the ghosts in our story, they can’t do it that way since they don’t have ghost private parts. So, they give birth to their baby bodyless ghosts through their mouths. Yes, Once they have ghost sex (which for bodyless ghosts is just making out) they pop them out like bubbles from their ghost mouth. Hard to believe, but it’s true.
Ghost Ghoos
So, while their ghost moms were off having their little holiday, the baby ghirl ghosts were being baby sat. Another cool thing about being a ghost is you don’t need other ghosts to babysit. All you need is Ghost Ghoo. Ghost Ghoo is something all ghosts can release, sort of like ghost poop, but it’s not gross. It is a part of the ghost who let’s it out that stays behind. The ghost gives it instructions and it follows them. It’s like a ghost rhobot. So, in this case the ghost ghoos was instructed to take care of the baby ghosts. They fed them, got them to take naps, let them play safely, took them on field trips and more.
Causing Trouble for the Ghoos
But on this day there was trouble. The baby ghosts being taken care of by the red ghost ghoo got very rambunctious and wouldn’t obey the Red Ghost Ghoo. They fought, tried to run away and played practical jokes on the Red Ghost Ghoo. It got so bad that the Red Ghost Ghoo broke apart into pieces, which is what ghost ghoos do when they get really flustered. The biggest piece collapsed on the floor into a ghoo pile and started to cry.
The other Ghost Ghoos; Orange, Blue, Green and Pink, did their best to round up all the baby ghosts that the Red Ghost Ghoo had been taking care of. It took them a long time and they were none too happy about it. They gave a stern lecture to the baby ghosts about obeying authority and made them apologize to the Red Ghost Ghoo.
Horror Movie
As punishment and as a lesson about what happens when they don’t obey they made them watch a very scary horror movie about evil people trying to destroy them called Ghostbusters.
The End
To see and read the whole Ghirl Ghost series of short stories, click on the ‘series’ drop down menu to the right and go to ‘Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts‘.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 13, 2014 | Marty Coleman, Simplicity - 2009-2014 |
SXSW
I am back from 6 days at SXSW Interactive in Austin, TX. I led a workshop then attended presentations and panels on a wide range of topics. Being there is the ultimate in complex reality. Between the overwhelming crowds and choices; the sheer logistics of eating, drinking, transporting, sleeping, and the intense focus of meeting, talking, learning, teaching, communicating, and remembering it all, it was anything but simple.
The Simplicity of Thinking Now
The only way I could keep it simple was to be focused on what was in front of me. Whether it was a person I was meeting for the first time, a slide on a screen, a lecturer, or a transportation moment, paying attention to that alone allowed it to stay as simple as it could be at the moment.
The Complexity of Thinking Not Now
Yes, I was multitasking. for example, I wanted to tweet (find me at @thenapkindad) what was being said but I also wanted to take notes. My solution? My tweets became my notes. When I got in trouble was when I thought ahead instead of stayed with what I was doing. For example, leaving my hotel in the morning. I never forgot my badge, thank God, but I did forget my water bottles one day. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when water is 3.25 a bottle? It’s a big deal. I forgot my schedule booklet one day and had to go over to registration (a long way in a big convention center) to get a new one, one not marked up with all my notes. I had left mine in the hotel bathroom when I went back in to make sure I was empty before starting my day. Twice while at the conference I left a water or coffee behind that cost way too much to leave behind. Yes, I went back and got them each time and it added frazzlement to my day.
Less Thoughts, More Thinking
All this made me think about Simplicity. I realized I didn’t need to think less, I needed to have less thoughts. When I limited the amount of thoughts or was able to unify those thoughts into a clear thread of thinking, then I was successful in getting the most out of my time and efforts. That’s simple enough, right?
Check out the rest of the Simplicity Series here.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Feb 21, 2014 | Marty Coleman, Mother's Day - 2011, Mothers Day |
What a perfect day to present Mothers #3!
Perfection in Parenting
After Mothers #1 was published earlier this week a comment was posted by Julie from APlaceforThoughts.com. Julie was worried about failing at her work as a mother, comparing herself to her father who had to raise her on his own and had done a great job in her estimation. In the course of that conversation I came up with the above quote to try to assure her that it wasn’t about perfection in parenting, it was about love in parenting.
The thing is, kids are looking for love, not perfection. If you are supporting them and encouraging them and guiding them, they don’t really care if you are good at math, or able to run a marathon or make a million dollars a year. And if you do do all those things but don’t show them love, they don’t really care much about those accomplishments either.
Love Over Limitations
We all have our limitations in physical capabilities, emotional strength and intellectual prowess. One mother is missing an arm and a leg. Another never graduated from high school. A third is fragile emotionally. But none of that matters if they make the decision to deliver love to their children as best they are able. That is what the child will remember. That is what the child will pass on to their children.
Don’t expect to deliver perfection in your parenting. Expect to deliver love.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 29, 2014 | Marty Coleman, The Napkin's Guide to Happy Living |
You can’t be depressed knowing today is #7 in The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living, can you?
The Funeral Reason
When my ex-father in law died I attended the memorial service. I didn’t give a eulogy and I didn’t sing. It appeared as if I just sat and experienced others expressing themselves. But they weren’t doing it just for themselves, they were representing a community of people. Their expressions were on our behalf and that made it our expression as well.
Later, at the reception, I spoke briefly of my memory and love for this man. It was my own expression but from the smiles and laughs and tears I saw around me I knew my expression was more than just my own. We were all lifting each other.
It’s often said we have funerals and memorial services for closure. But I am not sure it’s the main reason. After all we don’t close the book on that person’s life and forget about them, do we? The main reason, in my mind, for a funeral is expression. Why is that? Because, expression is one of the most important ways to defeat depression.
Depression By Any Other Name
Just to be clear, I am not talking about the clinical definition, but the broad, lay meaning of depression as you might find in these statements; ‘I am depressed my BF broke up with me.’ ‘I am in a funk that I didn’t get the raise.’ ‘I am really bummed my great Aunt passed away.’ There are all sorts of ways to say it but, whatever the word, the sentiment is pretty much the same, you are depressed.
Expressive Ways
How do we express ourselves out of depression and back to happiness? We might listen to the music or write the music, see the art or create the art, read the book or write the book. But whatever we do, we take expressive action of some sort. THAT is the key. It’s in our expressive action that we start the ball rolling back towards happy living.
So, if you are depressed, go get your pencil and draw, stand up and sing, find your keyboard and play, get your laptop and write that short story. Whatever it is you do to express yourself, go do it, see if it doesn’t help bring you back to your happiness.
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Love – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #1
Courage – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #2
Home – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #3
Education – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #4
Transformation – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #5
Judging – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #6
Expression – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #7
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 28, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
The Shower in 1992
Prologue
Shannon was excited to go skiing but she didn’t realize until they got there that they were going to be living dorm style for the week. It made her nervous because she was very shy about her body.
Chapter One
The first 2 days she was able to avoid being in the bathroom when anyone else was by going very early in the morning to shower. Shannon freaked out the second morning when she heard the door open while she was washing her hair but whoever it was went to the bathroom quickly and left, leaving her alone again. She was relieved.
On the third morning she overslept and by the time she got into the bathroom someone was already in the shower. She was going to go back to the room and just forget the shower when the shower turned off and a woman emerged from it. She only had to take 2 steps to get her towel but she only took one step out and stood there. Shannon was frozen, looking in the mirror as the woman squeezed her hair to get out as much water as possible. She looked past the woman’s body to the snowy hills in the window above her. She could feel her face flush with embarrassment.
The woman, without looking at Shannon or asking if she was going to shower, said, “Sorry for taking so long but I think there is plenty of hot water left”. She grabbed a towel and started drying her hair.
Shannon, still looking anywhere but at the woman, said, “That’s ok, I don’t take long showers so it probably will last”.
Shannon’s body stiffened when she saw the woman take a step towards her, still with just one towel, which she had wrapped around her head. She could see her reach out her hand and knew she was going to introduce herself. She didn’t know what else to do but turn around and face her. She reached out her hand and the woman took it, saying, “Hi, my name is Sinann, what’s yours?” Shannon introduced herself in return. “Nice to meet you.” Sinann said as she turned back to get her second towel. She started to dry herself.
Sinann moved over a number of steps to a bench and said, “I’m out of your way, you can get in now.” Shannon was freaking out. She absolutely panicked anytime she anticipated people seeing her body, even in a bathing suit at the beach or a pool. She always wore a t-shirt and shorts over her bathing suit and never, ever took them off, even when going in the water, unless she was alone. The idea of someone seeing her naked was completely unbearable.
Finally, she realized she was going to have to say something. She looked at Sinann and said, “I’m sorry, but I am really, REALLY self-conscious about my body so I am going to wait until you are done, is that ok?”
Sinann, looked up, covered herself with her second towel and said, “Oh my god, I am SO SORRY! I didn’t even think about that. I will get out of your way asap. And I am REALLY sorry for not covering up right away. I am so bad about that.”
Shannon let her shoulders relax and smiled. “It’s not your fault, I am just super weird about it. It’s something I need to work on.”
Sinann smiled back and said, “Well, we both have something to work on I guess, right?”
Shannon laughed and said, “It seems we do!”
Epilogue
Shannon and Sinann found themselves on the same ski lift later that day and laughed hard about the morning’s start. They decided to have lunch together in the ski chalet and by the time they were done they had both made the decision in their own heads that this was the friend they had been looking for their whole life.
They have been best friends for 22 years now. Shannon still doesn’t get naked in front of anyone and Sinann still does.
The End
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Drawing and short short story by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 22, 2014 | Marty Coleman, The Napkin's Guide to Happy Living |
I judge today to be a great day for you to enjoy Happy Living #6!
The Ballerina in Your Living Room
Back in the 1990’s I taught Art Appreciation at a Community College in California. I once took my students on a field trip to San Francisco to do some gallery hopping. While in one gallery I noticed a student contemplating a certain Abstract Expressionist painting. I asked her what she was thinking and she said, “I wouldn’t put it in my house.” That statement got me thinking so I gathered up the class and asked how many others had thought that same thing. More than half raised their hands. I then said, “Well guess what? It is unlikely that that painting, or any of the other paintings here, will ever BE in your house. They all have price tags of $100,000.00 to $500,000.00.”
I continued, “Would you go to a Ballet and say, ‘Well, I wouldn’t have that Ballerina in my living room.’? Of course not. You KNOW she is not going to be in your living room. You don’t need to judge her as if she is. Actually, you don’t need to judge her at all. And you don’t need to judge the art in this room. You might enjoy the work more if you judge it less. Now let’s evaluate these paintings again, without the idea of possession and judgment in the way of our enjoyment”. We then walked around talking about the work without judging it good or bad or worthy of being over our couch. We were all much happier without the judgment.
Obsessed with Judging
I believe America is obsessed with judging and I think it’s debilitating to creativity, compassion and happiness. I don’t mean there is not a time to judge. I like talent shows and I don’t mind the judging that has to go on there. We also need to judge behaviors to keep ourselves safe. The law is all about judging, and I am a fan of the law in general. But think about how almost every aspect of American (and probably many other countries’ social life) is filled with non-stop judging.
The Non-Judgmental Tattoo
Let’s take one example, tattoos. I happen to like tattoos, yet I have none of my own. Neither does my wife. I am pretty sure none of my 4 daughters do either, but if they do, they aren’t apparent. But I like tattoos nonetheless. Why? Because they are interesting. And they aren’t mine. They are simply something I witness go by. Part of what I call the passing parade. I can witness, admire, observe, evaluate, investigate, explore, question, wonder, imagine, and otherwise enjoy a tattoo that passes in front of me. But I will unlikely do any of those things if I judge it first. Judging cuts off those things, cuts off happiness. Judgment says good or bad and done. Case is closed.
But why does the case have to be closed? What is so important that I have to render a judgment of a woman’s snake tattoo as she walks by. Why can’t I just enjoy it, experience it? What will happen if I just look at it, explore it, contemplate it’s color, texture, shape, and meaning. Why not ask her about her tattoo? Why not just let it pass without judging it? We will be happier, I know that much.
What other examples can you think of where we tend to judge quickly when there isn’t any real need to judge at all?
Don’t Judge
Here are some tattoos I have found and photographed over the years. It always makes me happy when I find one. See if you can simply explore them without judgment.
It’s not that easy, is it? But it is worth it to escape the debilitating, uncreative, unhappy prison of judgment.
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Love – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #1
Courage – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #2
Home – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #3
Education – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #4
Transformation – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #5
Judging – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #6
Expression – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #7
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Drawing, photographs and commentary by Marty Coleman, who might get one someday, who knows.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 20, 2014 | Martin Luther King Day, Marty Coleman |
He had a dream that we would someday allow everyone to have their own dream. Silly or profound, understood or not, it doesn’t matter. What matters is being free to dream it.
The Dream of a Different Martin
A dream of a brightly colored self and a matching kite smiling in the wind, yes.
A dream of floating above a canyon, far above the dangerous water, yes.
A dream of radio and rock and roll, yes.
A dream of green across the sky, yes.
A dream of a serenading snake, yes.
A dream of a cat as important as the sun, yes.
A dream of a sailboat waiting for you to make it move, yes.
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Drawing and poem by Martin Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 2, 2014 | Marty Coleman, The Napkin's Guide to Happy Living |
Here is your opportunity to see another in my Happy Living Guide, but don’t feel obligated.
Holiday Obligations
Because the holidays are just over, it’s a perfect time to talk about obligations vs opportunities. We do much in November and December out of obligation. And for some, obligation is a word empty of any happiness. We have to clean house, put up decorations, take down decorations, clean house again. We have to plan trips, plan time off from work, plan our return. We have to worry about weather, food, clothing. We have to think about presents for everyone, or no one. And then there is family, family we may not want to visit. But we are obligated so we do it.
Moments of Happy
Remember, I am not talking about ‘a happy life’. I am talking about ‘living happy’. There is a difference. Living happy means you have happy moments. That allows you to live in reality and reality includes moments that aren’t happy. But you can find happy moments in any life. Find enough of them and at the end you will likely be able to say ‘I lived a happy life’. But that will be after the fact. While you live your life you have to find happy moments within it.
Holiday Opportunities
In my experience you find happy moments within obligations when you are able to see past your expectations. When you allow the unexpected to come in. You do that by putting judgment on the shelf and forgetting it until later, and finding something to love in the moment. For example, you go to visit your sister’s family. You know she is going to be judgmental and controlling and nosey about your life. That’s a drag. But her daughters or sons on the other hand, they can be an opportunity for you, finding out about who they are now, not lumping them in with your judgment of your sister. Find that happy moment with them. You may not have a fantastic time at your sister’s house, but you can find happy moments there and you can focus on those when you tell the story of your visit to others. You don’t have to tell the story of your judgmental sister. You can tell the story of your amazing nieces and nephews instead.
And then maybe your next visit you will look like this as you arrive.
It isn’t just over the holidays or with family this idea is important. It’s in your health and fitness, in your job, in your home design, your clothing, your hobbies, everything.
What is an example from your own life?
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Love – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #1
Courage – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #2
Home – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #3
Education – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #4
Transformation – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #5
Judging – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #6
Expression – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #7
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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