I have been trying to think this quote through to see if it is true. I am not sure yet. What do you think?
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Nikki Giovanni, 1943 – not dead yet, American writer and activist
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We often hear about the terrible domestic tragedy where a wife is slaughtered by a hate-filled spouse. It happens way, way too often (once is too often). At least one of that couple had a deep deep hatred for the other. It was a hatred harsh and bitter enough to lead someone to murder. It always astounds me to imagine someone actually doing that, but it happens all the time.
But while those violent acts get the attention, the vast majority of relationships that break up don’t end in hatred and violence in the long term. They end in indifference. The end with a ‘meh’. When we cease to love someone what usually happens is we jettison the feeling. We temporarily have other feelings, including hate, for the person we are breaking up with. But long term we end up shutting down the love and replacing with nothing. No feelings, no emotions, no travails. That is why people say it is hard to love again, because they’ve hardened themselves with indifference.
The danger isn’t that we reel in a bit after a relationship. It’s that we may reel in all our feelings for everything. For our neighbors, our friends, and our city. For our society, for our culture, for nation. We just don’t care much anymore because caring, and the loving that comes from that caring, is too hard a task. It has too many dangers, too many risks.
As a result we stay in a cocoon of protection. At least it seems like we are protected. But in truth we endanger ourselves. Just like the person who thinks if they do no physical exercise then they won’t get an injury. That is likely true, they wont get an injury. But they will atrophy. And guaranteed atrophy is much more dangerous than a possible injury.
Watch out for wrapping your love into too big of a cocoon. We all have been hurt, but those who heal and go back out onto the field are the ones who will keep their strength, and their love, strong.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Elie Wiesel, 1928 – not dead yet, Jewish writer and activist. Holocaust survivor
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There’s part of me that disagrees with this. After all, don’t we want to be in a relationship where the other person is encouraging us to be better than we are, to change for the better? I know I am not perfect and could be better so why not have someone who wants that for me as well? Don’t I want to be in that sort of relationship?
But we know this is not what this quote is talking about, don’t we. This quote is warning against, not the person who wants the best for you, but the person who wants the best for them. They don’t want you to change for the better because it’s your desire. They want you to change to meet their desire. They want you to be prettier, or have bigger boobs, or make more money, or be more of a do-it-yourselfer, or more religious, or a million other things. But they want it to make their life what they want, not what you want for your own life.. They want the hot wife or husband, or the bigger house or the greater religious reputation. Maybe they want life to be easier for themselves and it would be if you didn’t annoy them so much with your hobbies or your style or your habits or, or, or….the list goes on.
If someone see and hears from you that you want to be this or that in the future, then of course we want that person to be supportive and encouraging about that change. But when we don’t initiate it, but it comes from their desire to control you and turn you into who they want? That is the person to avoid at all costs.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Quentin Crisp, 1908 – 1999, English raconteur. He lived a very interesting and unique life, well worth reading up on if you are worried about your individuality being too ‘individual’.
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This is one of my favorite lines from a song. The moment I heard it, I believed it was good and true. Years later I became familiar with Jesus’ teaching of “Love your neighbor as yourself”. When someone questions Jesus about exactly who is his neighbor, Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan. The point of that story is that everyone is your neighbor and should be treated as such.
In other words, you never have to question what it is you are to do. You are always to love the person in front of you.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote are lyrics from the song, ‘Love the one you’re with’ by Stephen Stills.
Most people think it is a ‘Crosby, Stills and Nash’ song, but it was actually written and performed by Stills on his debut solo album in 1970. It was later recorded live with C S & N and that is how it became thought of as a C S & N song. The line was not made up by Stills. He kept hearing a fellow musician, Billy Preston, say the line in daily life and asked him if he could use it in a song. He agreed.
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Last week I showed you a collection of naked men. It got more hits than any other post I have had in probably 6 months to a year. I am sure those trolling were disappointed to find out they were cartoon naked men with very minimalist interpretations of their packages, but hopefully it was interesting for the rest of you.
Today it’s a naked women collection. I am pretty sure the trolls will be equally disappointed in the lack of graphic rendering.
Those among you who are upright citizens might think, ‘Well dang Marty, aren’t you the ‘Napkin Dad’ and aren’t you suppose to be an example of good morals? So, why are you drawing naked women (and men)?’ The answer is simple. I like drawing naked people. I am an artist and a big reason for that was that I was raised in a family that appreciated and collected art. My Grandfather collected art and had a fantastic collection of prints, drawings and paintings. Many of those were handed down to my mother. Thus, my household growing up was full of art, many pieces were of nudes. How early did I actually start drawing the nude? From the very beginning. My first art exhibition ever was in my High School Library in my senior year. My subject matter? Nudes that I drew from actual models. No, I am not joking. It was a different era. I like drawing naked people because it allows me a fantastic opportunity to communicate both emotions and ideas.
You might ask, ‘But you have 4 daughters, aren’t you worried you are influencing them to think it’s ok for women to be objectified by depicting the nude?’ My answer would be the exact opposite is what I think I am influencing them to think. That it is ok and positive for women (and men) to be depicted nude (and for artists to do the depicting) when you are being true to the story you want to tell and the feeling you want to arouse. Funny I know, the word ‘arouse’ is a loaded term when talking about the depiction of the nude. But feelings about the nude are not restricted to sexual arousal. Embarrassment, pride, relief, compassion, empathy, anger, hurt, shame, exhilaration, triumph, and many other emotions and feelings can also be depicted and elicited by the use of the nude in art, photography or film. Sometimes the nude is actually the best vehicle for getting those emotions communicated in a compelling way. I would hope my daughters and grandchildren would see art, and the nudity depicted in it, in that light.
Of course it is somewhat silly and ironic that I write an essay about the nude in art when what you are about to see are cartoon drawings. My drawings here are not in competition with Michelangelo’s sculpture of David for the exaltation of the human form. But they are in keeping with the impetus of the artist to try to communicate well, which is all I am really trying to do when you get right down to it.
Here is a selection through the years. A link to the original posts are below each image.
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Early on in my napkin drawings I started adding in our pets. We had a dog and cat, and now we have 2 dogs and a cat. They are recurring characters. We also had a snake, a turtle and lots of pet rats when my daughters were growing up. They make appearances as well.
I use animals as the voice of wisdom often. They are immune from the stupidity of society and humanity so they are a great objective reporter of our homo sapien pressures.
Here is a collection of animal drawings from 1998 to 2014.
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Original post – It is Loneliness
Original post – All Anger
Second drawing, years later, same quote – All Anger
Original post – We Only Confess
Original post – Success Generally Depends
Original post – We all have the strength
Original post – The Time You Enjoy Wasting
Original post – Art is the Only Way
Original post – Whatever Remains
Original post – Err, Forgive, Purr
Original post – Shopping For a Unicorn
Original post – The Mosquito’s Power
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Let’s cut to the chase, it’s day #4 of my Conscience series.
Is this about fashion? Maybe, if you are a young woman who isn’t comfortable wearing short shorts. But ‘fashion’ comes in many forms. There is moral fashion for example.
This quote actually came from a fight about communism here in the US back in the 1940s and 50s. The House of Representatives started to hold hearings trying to get citizens to tell on their neighbors, co-workers and friends as to whether they were communists or communist sympathizers. When they brought Lillian Hellman, a play and screen writer, to testify she refused, using this quote to rebuff their attempts to coerce her to tell.
The reason I used the image of a heart being cut out is that more than any other element (besides perhaps one’s romantic entanglements) our conscience really is the heart of who we are. Take away our morality and our conscience and you pretty much leave an empty shell behind.
I am always proud of my friends, family and even people I only know online, who find their moral boundaries and grow in them. Don’t get me wrong though, I am not only talking about the ‘traditional values’ idea. I am also talking about the radical, or the nudist, or the person who foregoes the traditional life of the middle class for a life serving others in Africa. I am talking about the child of doctors who expect their child to follow in their footsteps but instead they incur the wrath of the family by deciding to be a singer, or artist. This is true of the children of artists who want to be doctors too of course.
I am talking about those who have courage to say, ‘This is me.’
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Lillian Hellman, 1905-1984, American playwright and screenwriter. Look her up to find out more about her courageous stand against the House Committee on Un-American Activities.
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We continue our journey into the Napkin’s archives with a collection of hands. This collection also happens to contain my favorite quote of all time. See if you can find it.
One of the reasons I used hands when I first started doing these drawings for my daughters was that they were very easy and fast to draw. I was drawing 3 drawings per morning to stick in their lunches so I had to be fast. I could quickly draw the hand with one line and have it express an idea. I liked that. Then add in that it was easy for the hand to represent something greater than self, from another world, and it was a no brainer to use the hand for ideas related to God, religion, hell, heaven, theology, etc. It came to represent more than that but that is where it started.
Here is a selection starting in 1998/99. The first napkin is undated but the only undated drawings I have are, for the most part, from those 2 years.
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1998/99
Original post – ‘Sleeping Girl’
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Original post – ‘I Am An Atheist Still’
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Original post – ‘Thinking Clearly’
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Original post – ‘We Are All Imprisoned by Facts’
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Original post – ‘The Fingers Must Be Educated’
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Original post – ‘The Unexpected Life’
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Original post – ‘The Test of a Religion’
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Original post – ‘If There is a God’
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Original post – ‘The Intent of Theology’
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Original post – ‘Man Must Be Disappointed’
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Original post – ‘Religion Was Science’ – Creation vs Evolution #4
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Original post – ‘Perfection and Progress’ – The Perfect Perfectionist Series #3
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Original post – ‘The Moment of Good Fortune’ – Wealth #1
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Drawings by Marty Coleman
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The idea of the all-seeing eye has been around forever. The cyclops is one variation on that. I like to use the cyclops in that way, as the omnipotent witness. I also use him/her to upend ideas of beauty. If one woman’s eyes are considered beautiful, then why would it be different if she had just one eye.
Here is a selection of my cyclops drawings over the years. Below each is a link to the original post the drawing appeared in.
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Original Post – ‘Thankful #2 – Hospitality‘
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Original Post – ‘The Average Person Thinks He Isn’t‘
Original Post – ‘Beauty is a Brief Grasp’
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Original Post – ‘Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Taken‘
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Original Post – ‘Beauty – Evolution vs Creation #5′
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Original Post – ‘Attraction and Awareness – Dating 101 #4’
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Original Post – ‘Expectations – Mothers #3‘
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I thought it would be fun to bring out consistent visual themes I have had over the years and show them to you chronologically. I am not talking about the quotes being consistent but the subject matter of the drawings. You will also see a very obvious style progression in the drawings over the years.
First up? Naked men. I draw a lot more naked women than men, but men do make a regular appearance. Here is a selection from over the years. A link to the original post is below each image. There you will find the commentary that went along with the drawing.
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Original post – Life Opens Up Opportunities
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Original post – The Christian Ideal
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Original post – Catastrophe #4 – The Atom
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Original post – Do You Swim Naked?
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Original post – The Idealism Blues
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Original post – What To Do Between Birth and Death – Enjoying Life #1 – The original post has a censored version of this.
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Drawings by Marty Coleman