School, as wonderful as it can be, has a purpose. And it isn’t to make you educated. It’s to make you educated so you will be a contributing member of our society. That means so you can hold a job that contributes, or start a company that contributes. Some schools also want you educated in such a way that you are a positive influence in society. At least according to that society. That might mean you are a good consumer, or give to charity, or compete well on the athletic field.
In other words, the education want to educate you to fit in. And I don’t think that is that bad a thing. I don’t mind fitting in somewhat.
Purpose of Education
But fitting in has it’s limits. If your goal is to only fit in then a good schooling works well for you and for your society. BUT if you want to expand beyond that fit, then you need to be educated beyond school. You need to keep learning on your own. Because learning on your own is how you will reshape your society for the better. It’s how you will challenge and change worn out traditions and prejudices. It’s how you will illuminate and bring to fruition new visions of art, science, nature, ideas, morality, spirit, and more.
Purpose of You
Your purpose is not just to fit in. Your purpose is to become you. Part of you will fit in, and that is good. But another part, no matter how small or large, should aspire to break those bonds. That part of you should work to learn as much as you can in whatever area you want, apart from society’s purpose for you.
Because if you do that, you will not just fit in to society, you will at the same time shape it into something better, something that says you have been here. That is a good thing.
I get annoyed when ‘college educated’ becomes confused with ‘educated’. There are many people who have gone to college and graduated, and they are rightly classified as ‘college educated’. But does that mean they are actually educated in the broader sense? I think there is a strong case to be made that that might not be the case for a good portion of those graduates.
I know this makes me sound like some sort of elite education snob. Guess what? I am an elite education snob. I believe in a full and complete, well-rounded, broadly general and inclusive education. I don’t believe college should just be a ‘major factory’ for business or jobs. For us to have a great civilization it also should be, it needs to be, a incubator for intellectual development and critical thinking in the classic disciplines of a liberal education.
Don’t be fooled though, when I say ‘liberal’ I am not talking about it in the political or social sense. It has nothing to do with liberal vs conservative. I am talking about it’s meaning in education, which is specific. It means a broad based, well-rounded education in multiple disciplines.
Ongoing
But, the argument may be given, you can only learn so much in 4-5 years of college. And you do need to think about it having some practical reasons behind all that money and time being put into it. I agree with that. That is one reason why, even if you have the best liberal education possible, it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough for one very important reason. Proper learning in college should always have as one of its main outcomes the realization that what you know now is not complete. There will be new discoveries in science, art, math, politics, environment, religion, philosophy and more. The education of the world does not stop when you get your diploma and neither should yours.
A Proposal
I have had this idea for a while. I propose there be college after college. I don’t mean ongoing education to get mastery in a specific skill or area. I mean tune ups of ideas and information. I mean going back to relearn and expand what you learned way back when. And to add in new areas where you never learned anything in the first place.
And not only that, but I propose we have another graduation later in life. Perhaps every 10-12 years or so. 32, 42, 52? Or maybe 28, 38, 48, etc.? I like the idea of continuing those traditional transitions of our youth into rituals in adulthood as well. I am not sure of the details, but I like the idea.
Was it traffic that made you late? Did your friend make you eat that piece of cake? Was the boss to blame for you not completing your task because she talked your ear off? The answers always lead in one direction or another. They point somewhere. Will they always point to you? Of course not. But check how often they point to you. If never? You are living a delusional lie about your part. If always? You are living a delusional lie about your part.
Reality
The truth is, we will always have someone else to blame if we want to. And sometimes that will be right. But often what seems right at the surface, isn’t. For example. Your boss talks your ear off and so you missed getting a report in on time. Her fault, right? No, not her fault. Your fault. Why your fault? Because you didn’t find a way out of the conversation (or monologue) and get back to work.
BUT BUT BUT
“BUT, she’s my boss. I can’t just tell her to shut up.” No, you can’t. But you can ask her if you can talk to her later about this because you are on a deadline, right? You can take into account she comes by your desk every work day at 4pm and talks so you had better make sure you have the report done, or close to done, by that time, right? You can do preliminary work on the report knowing there will likely be delays later in the day, right? You can do something in most cases. It’s just a matter of whether you have thought of it and if so, are willing to do it.
Other’s Fault, Your Responsibility
You see my point? Even if it is her fault for being such a talker, it’s still your responsibility to get that report done. It’s up to you to figure out how to do it and make that happen. It’s not up to her to not talk so much, it’s up to you to figure out how to deal with it and still be successful in your job.
When our daughter’s were young we home schooled them for 3 years. For the youngest, Chelsea, it was Kindergarten through 2nd grade, Connie it was 1st – 3rd, and Rebekah it was 3rd – 5th. We didn’t do it for religious reasons, even though we were within a church that had a lot of home schooling families. We did it primarily because we could. My wife at the time, Kathy, was a teacher and, after seeing so many others in the church do it, decided she could do it too. This took a lot for her since she was up until then not a very confident person. But she believed it and we did it. It was a great time for our family and our kids. It was wonderful in many ways but the way that was most important in my children’s life was this: There was no idea of school is where you get educated and home is not. On the contrary, everywhere is where you got educated. Home, street, groups, books, church, museums, nature, grandparents, etc. It didn’t matter where you were, you were learning.
Curiosity
And that all-inclusive idea of education was driven by curiosity. If you are learning about science in your back yard while checking out bugs, then it’s very likely you will always be curious about the bugs in your backyard. If you are learning about the history from your Grandfather who fought in WWII then very likely you will always be curious about the lives older people have lived. If you are learning about art from your dad, seeing him working in his studio every day, then you are likely to be curious about creativity in others for the rest of your life. Curiosity is the engine.
Around The Bend
So, does that mean you or your kids have to have been home schooled to be life-long learners? Of course not. Home schooling was just a part of my daughter’s upbringing that contributed. Just as important was the example their mother and I set by being curious and willing to explore well after our formal education was over. And all that really was was an enthusiastic curiosity about what was around the bend. Instead of fear of the unknown I tried to instill in them a curiosity of it.
Not Reckless
Of course, that isn’t the same as being reckless or stupid. One needs critical thinking skills, good judgment and wisdom, but those things don’t preclude being curious about life. They just allow your curiosity to proceed with a modicum of safety is all.
I encourage you to embrace your curiosity about life, don’t be afraid of it. It is much better to fear a life not lived then one that has been lived to the max, right?
You’ve heard the saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”, right? What does it mean? Since nobody wants to go to hell, it obviously means good intentions are misleading. You think you are paving the way to heaven, or accomplishment, success, fame, wealth, happiness, security, love, etc. but instead you end up in hell? How can that be?
It’s not because good intentions are evil, it’s because good intentions are nothing. They are ephemeral ghosts that flit about and then disappear. They can’t be built on and they can’t be walked on. What they can do is fool people. They tell people they are actually doing something when they aren’t. They tell people they are making progress in life, when they aren’t. They tell people they are becoming better people, when they aren’t.
Good intentions are nothing, and doing nothing in life is the fastest way to be in hell now and find hell in the future.
The Road to Elsewhere
So, if good intentions are nothing, what is something? Action is something. Hard work is something. Practicing what you preach is something.
Making an idea into a reality isn’t good intentions, it’s good action. It might start with an idea and a determination to make that idea real, and that is good. People need vision and ideals. But they are the ink on the paper in the recipe book. They are nothing without the ingredients being put together to actually make the recipe into food.
Neil Jenney
From 1982-1994 I worked on getting my Master of Fine Art degree from San Jose State University in California. I took a number of high level art theory and criticism seminars where studied intensely studied the recently past and current styles in the art world. Foremost among those at the time was Neo-Expressionism. There were many compelling artists working in this style that I liked, including David Salle, Robert Longo, and Eric Fischl. In addition we studied other strains, including the Pattern and Decoration movement, which I liked quite a bit.
One artist I discovered at the time stood out to me. He stood out because he was was not part of these or other contemporary movements. He was completely unique; sophisticated, astute in his subtle social and political messaging and unabashedly contrarian in his relationship with current art. His name is Neil Jenney and he is the next artist in my ‘Artists I Love’ series. Links to the other artists in the series can be found in the menu above and in a list at the end of this post.
Window #6, oil on panel with painted wood frame, 1971-1976
What you see here is one of the signature paintings of his career. It’s a detailed oil painting of a landscape, but not one where you can see much. It’s as much about what you can’t see as what you can. It’s seems to be a window high up in a room, you are looking out, but what really is out there? You can’t see much, just the tree and the sky. But you can also see something that doesn’t seem to fit. A cloud that almost looks like a marshmallow. It’s way too perfectly formed to be a real cloud so what is it? Good question. Too bad you can’t see more, right? Or wait, maybe not seeing more is what makes you think more intensely about what isn’t there. Maybe your imagination is engaged. Maybe it’s great art because of that. I think it is.
But let’s go back a bit to get a little better glimpse of the ideas behind his work.
BAD PAINTING
What you see below is a bad painting. It’s bad on purpose to make a statement. Back in the late 60s a new genre came into being called ‘Photorealism’. Artists took a photograph of a scene and painted it to an extreme level of accuracy. They actually enhanced the scene often to be even MORE realistic than the photo. Neil Jenney hated this trend. He understood the technique took some skill but for what purpose? To just recreate a photograph? He saw it as soulless and trite. He said to a friend that instead of having a bad idea and doing it well, “it would be better to have a good idea and do it terrible!” Which is exactly what he did. He called it good drawing, bad painting.
Saw and Sawed, acrylic on canvas with painted wood frame, 1969
Here is an example of the art Jenney was seeing when he decided to go in the opposite direction.
Robert Bechtle, Alameda Gran Torino, 1974, oil on canvas
He continued in this vein for a few years and was rewarded with his work being designated as ‘bad painting’, not as a derogatory critique, but as a positive statement about a new sort of realism.
Birds and Jets, Acrylic on canvas with painted wood frame, 1969
Threat and Sanctuary, acrylic on canvas with painted wood frame, 1969
Girl and Doll, Man and Mirage
What do all these have in common besides the ‘bad painting’ technique? They are all about a relationship between two things. The purposeful lack of details in both the paintings and the titles were Jenney’s ingenious way of being a social and political artist without being pedantic or propogandistic. His message is a starting point of an idea, a hint towards a concept that the viewers have to figure out for themselves. It’s one of my favorite attributes of great art and he does it immaculately in these paintings.
GOOD PAINTING
The good paintings were a result of two things. One, the limits of doing ‘good drawing, bad painting’, and two, the plethora of artists who had started to do similar work. Jenney is a contrarian and really dislikes doing what the crowd does. The combination of those two things caused him to decided to do ‘good drawing, good painting’. He started doing very detailed and highly accurate realistic paintings. But, as in the bad paintings, he does not spell things out. He just gives clues. The good paintings are as much about what is not seen beyond the frame as it is what is in the frame.
It also is about the relationship between words and images, as are the ‘bad paintings’. It’s another element that resonated with me, as you can tell by how prevalent words are in much of my work.
Meltdown Morning, 1975, oil on board with painted wood frame
It’s not the best reproduction but in the distance on the right you can see the hint of yellow. That could be a sunrise but it could be a nuclear accident. There is power in the ambiguity and simplicity, as well as in the contrast between nature and man.
North America Acidified, oil on panel with painted wood frame, 2013
A beautiful scene of nature, but the ominous title says something else might be going on.
Atmospheric Formation – Rabbits, oil on panel with painted wood frame, 2005
Sometimes it’s just light hearted play Jenney indulges in.
Morning, Evening, oil on panel with painted wood frame, 2012
I love these images because they just say so much about perception and how minimal it can be and one can still know exactly where you are and what time of day it is.
Ozarkia, oil on panel with painted wood frame, 2012
North American Aquatica, Oil on Panel with painted wood frame, 2006-07
Modern Era, Oil on panel with painted wood frame, 2006
I think this is a very sophisticated critique of modern art. Not pedantic or overly weighed down with opinion, but in it’s simplicity one can see the disdain.
Improved Picassos
Here’s an idea for a sure fire way to be criticized: Decide you can improve upon the paintings of the perhaps the greatest artist of the 20th century. Jenney decided to do just that. He happened to see someone in the Port Authority terminal in NYC selling painted reproductions of Picasso paintings. He bought one from him and decided to improve it, fixing what he saw as incomplete or bad passages in the art. Then he framed them how he would like to see them, instead of the way he saw them framed in the famous museums of the world.
It’s a cheeky and pretentious effort to do something like this, but Jenney didn’t care about what others would think. He wanted to ‘fix’ them so he did. Other people didn’t like it? Too bad for them. I have to admit I really love that ‘in your face’ attitude he has. It’s liberating for artists to see this and realize decisions about our creativity are ours to make, not someone else’s.
He eventually commissioned the artist who did the original copies, Ki-Young Sung, to paint specific Picasso pieces he had always wanted to rework.
Improved Picasso – Boy and Horse, original on left
Improved Picasso – Marie Therese Leaning, original on right
Improved Picasso – Igor Stravinsky
Improved Picasso – Bathers
Improved Picasso – Woman
Conclusion
Neil Jenney is my favorite type of artist, maybe because I feel a kinship with his outsider status. Outsider doesn’t mean uneducated, unsophisticated, or untalented. It simply means the artist does not fit in, either on purpose or by virtue of place, time and style, with the prevailing trends of art at the time. He or she can still be quite popular among collectors and other art people, but it’s a popularity based more on genuine admiration for the work than on any commercial or social advantage one might get by having a piece by the artist.
We had a discussion on Periscope the other day about decision making. It was about this idea and the idea in the blog post before this one, about not judging life events as good or bad, just experience them with minimal judgment. It would lead to less stress and anxiety and more happiness and peace.
People of Faith
Not easy to do of course, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. But how? Many people would say by having faith. But I have been in the Christian church now going on 40 years and I have seen very few people who don’t fret just as much about the future as those who don’t attend church and say they don’t believe in God, afterlife, etc. That doesn’t mean people of faith don’t talk a good game, they do. The script is all there in the bible that you just don’t have to worry. Paul says it again and again in his letters. Peter says it, Jesus says it. It’s a big part of Christianity. But barely anyone (that I know at least) actually lives it out in day to day practice.
The Avoidance List
Why is that? What is it about the unknown future that we really fear? Death? Pain? Discomfort? Does fearing those things help us avoid them? Well, we know we can’t avoid death so that obviously is a problem. But we can avoid it for a while, right?
Here is a list to help you avoid death:
Eat well
Exercise well
Have really good genetics
Don’t step on a land mine
Same goes for pain. Here is a list to avoid pain:
Do nothing aggressively physical
Don’t get in any relationships
Don’t have kids
Don’t get blown up on a boat (I didn’t avoid that)
And if you want to avoid discomfort? Here is what you should do.
Never meet people, cultures or ideas you don’t understand or like.
Never get a brazilian wax job
Never eat hot chili peppers
Never wear tight pants, tight bras or tight hats.
All those ways can be summed up in one rule. Don’t do anything. That will help you avoid all those terrible things in life.
Ok, I Lied
The truth is a life of couch sitting, of never thinking or experiencing anything new is living death. Seeing all the fun, vitality and love others are experiencing in life is a greater pain emotionally and physically than going out and experiencing the world and the risks in it. And by far the deepest discomfort in life is realizing you are afraid of everything.
So, get out there, open that gate, swim that ocean, climb that hill. You will experience discomfort, pain and yes, even death eventually. But the alternative? You are already dead.
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Good and Bad
This might sound like a terrible thing. You are going to have trouble no matter what you choose? That sucks. But that isn’t really the end of the story, is it? Beyond each danger maybe there is a blessing, right? Then again, beyond each blessing who knows, maybe another blessing, maybe another danger.
Looking Back
Many people, when they reach a certain point in life look back and say, ‘Everything that has happened in the past, good and bad, has led me to this point.’ Isn’t that another way of saying that those seemingly bad things that happened really weren’t that bad and the good things that happened weren’t necessarily all that good?
Here and Now
Looking back is one thing, it’s easy to do. But what if you avoided this yin yang of categorizing everything into gain or loss as the events happened? What if you experienced them in your mind as as neutral events instead? How would that help your health, both physical and mental, while living in the present AND looking at the future? Less stress, less judgment, less worry, less anxiety might be the result. More peace, more happiness, more confidence might also be the result. It’s something to think about.
The Chinese Farmer
There is a famous old story about a chinese farmer who did just that. Here is a great animation that tells the story. It is being told by Alan Watts, a deep thinker who delved into Taoist philosophy.
Brain Pickings
One of my favorite websites is ‘Brain Pickings‘. You can read more about Alan Watts and his ideas on fortune and misfortune there. There you can also find links to more in depth sites dealing the Watts, his philosophy and books.
A year ago I was asked to create an image about a charity I would like to have people donate to. It was going to be produced on T-shirts, etc. and sold, with the proceeds going to the charity. For a number of reasons it never came to pass. BUT I did do the drawing. The drawing and prints are available for sale. All profits will go to Neema International.
The charity I chose is one I have supported for a couple of years now, Neema International. The money goes to support the Tuleeni orphanage in Tanzania as well as outreach to the entire community of children in the surrounding villages. Neema International is headed by Mandy Stein, an amazing young woman originally from Texas who now lives and works full time at the orphanage. She plans, builds, teaches, negotiates, and works her butt off to make a better life for the kids. Whether it’s new buildings, uniforms for school, supplies, transportation, food, community support, education or technology she has her fingers in the mix trying to make it all happen. Mama Faraji, shown below with Mandy, is the founder and leader of the Tuleeni Orphanage.
Mandy Stein and Mama Faraji
First Drawing and Post
You can read my first drawing and post that I did about a year and a half ago on Mandy and her work with Neema here. It was a post about happiness and purpose, something Mandy exemplifies to an awe-inspiring degree. Among other things it shows a photo of the building below well before it was completed.
NOW
Here is the new orphanage and education building. It took years of effort from Mandy and many others but it’s now complete!
Of course, the outside is just part of the effort. The inside had to be completed too. Here are some photos of what was involved in that!
Transporting mattresses for the orphanage
New bunks at the orphanage
Finally, a great place to eat dinner!
YAY, a reliable bus to take the kids to school and elsewhere!
This is just a fraction of what is going on at Tuleeni. Other efforts include:
Sending many of the orphans, especially girls, to private schools so they can get a quality education. Girls are seriously underrepresented in the education system there and they are working hard to overcome that.
A Technology Education center for the entire village.
An Education Sponsorship program.
Love is the Purpose
I often write and illustrate at this blog that you become what you practice. I practice art and I practice teaching/coaching and I have become pretty good at it. You are good at something too. But becoming good at something still leaves the question. WHY? Why are you becoming good at this skill? What is the ultimate purpose behind it?
For me, the reason is to bring joy, happiness, hope, encouragement, insight, and most of all love to others. This is the greater thing to practice because some day I might lose my ability to create or run. But I will never lose my ability to love, right?
This is what Mandy is doing. Yes, she is building, teaching, organizing, etc. But what she is really doing is practicing love. Help her do that, ok?
How to Help
If you would like to support Mandy, Neema International and the Tuleeni Orphanage, you can make a contribution here. http://neemainternational.org/donate/?amount The donations go to a registered non-profit so you can have it be a charitable donation. Once you are at the site take some time to read about Neema and how it got started. It will warm your heart.
If you would like to contribute more directly you can do so at Paypal. Simply send the money to mandy@neemainternational.org. This will not be tax-deductible but the money is immediately available to Neema so they can buy school and home supplies quickly and as needed. Here are some pics that show what those sorts of donations have already bought. Plus, you are helping the local Tanzanian economy, something desperately needed.
When I hear people talk about their fear of decision making the number one thing I hear is fear of being wrong. You can see it on reality TV dating shows where the person choosing is racked with fear that he or she might make the wrong choice. You can see it in college kids trying to decide on a major. You can see it in people deciding on which house or car to buy. The list of ‘what if’ worries is endless. For many it can be paralyzing, keeping their life from moving forward and being fulfilled in so many ways.
The Wrong of being Fearful
You may be saying, ‘Hey wait, being fearful isn’t wrong’ and you would be right. And you would be wrong. Why wrong? Let’s use this example. You witness the rape of a friend. You are called to give a statement to police. You are called to look at a line up of possible perpetrators. You are called to testify for the prosecution. Doing those things is scary and it is likely you will be fearful. But what if you are SO fearful that you won’t do those things? You won’t speak up, you won’t testify. What then? Turns out your fear could be the reason a rapist is not convicted and is free to rape again. That could be considered a moral wrong, right?
Procrastinator Excellente
I am a procrastinator in decision making compared to my wife Linda. I take too much time and put off evaluating. Why? Because it means I have to take action and I don’t want to. I am lazy with a bit of fear of decision making thrown in. But what I have found is I have a lot more regrets from not having made a decision soon enough than I do from making a decision too soon. For example, I have waited too long and missed deadlines in applying for art fellowships or competitions in a particular year. But when I got my application in on time for those same things a year later, I certainly didn’t regret it.
The Lesson
First, know yourself. If you are a procrastinator or worrier about decision making, admit it and evaluate why. Then start to look at what it is you do regularly to sabotage good decision making. Do you rationalize and make excuses? You know if you do so just admit it instead of adding on the rationalizations. Also, don’t brag about your indecisiveness. Nothing is worse than someone bragging about their shortcomings as if the bragging makes it ok.
If you want to be a a more decisive decision maker, there is only one way to do it. That is to practice it. When the moment arrives to make a decision, be resolute in evaluating and deciding as quickly as you can. Your ‘quick’ might be days longer than someone else’s so don’t go by someone else. Just go by your own history. If it usually takes you 7 days? Do it in 5. If it usually takes you an hour, do it in 45 minutes. In other words, be deliberate and conscious about your decision making.
You will become a better decision maker if you practice it.
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Being Young
Ah, the glories of being the right kind of young. For those it means a body that works well, a future that looks set, a plan and help that builds confidence. That straight line to their future is clearly laid out before them. They can see it as clearly as they can see the sun rise on a cloudless day.
For some their young life is filled with pain, worry, and strife. They can’t see any line to the future much less a straight one because nobody else around them has ever seen it either. It’s like the Loch Ness Monster of futures. Nobody they know has ever seen it.
And then some are in between. The line might have been spotted, but it’s lost or covered up in large areas by the dirt of life; hate, confusion, distractions and more.
The Illusion Revealed
So, who is the lucky one of the three above? The answer? None of them. And all of them. It all depends on how you react to discovering the illusion of the line. Or the reality of it.
To give just one example, I have a friend who for 45 years lived a charmed life. Her line was as straight as could be. She had a wealthy and happy upbringing, good friends, health and education. She then met and married a man who seemed to have a great future himself and had 2 healthy and beautiful kids. The life she envisioned came true. Until her spouse became the least likely thing she could ever imagine, a crack addict. We were having a discussion about this destruction of her family and life when she said “Nothing like this has ever happened to me, I don’t know why it’s happening now.” My response? “Be grateful you had 45 years of a charmed life first, most people don’t have anywhere near that luck.”
Coming up against the truth that the straight line is an illusion didn’t ruin her, even though it could have. She was a very smart, resilient and adaptable woman when she got over the trauma she refocused on finding a new line and was successful. It included an amazing career she never would have had and a new husband who led the way on adventures all around the globe. But most importantly it helped her have sympathy and understanding for others who didn’t live her charmed life but who suffered the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ in ways she never understood before.
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Time and Forgiveness
Why not burn a bridge? I mean, you aren’t going to see those jerks again anyway, right? Many many years ago I was fired from a company. One person made the decision and she was the one who gave me the news. I didn’t burn any bridges then, even though given the circumstances I could have seen her as my enemy.
The Future is the Present
Fast forward 6 years and this woman crosses my path when she enrolls in a class of mine (not knowing I am the lead teacher). A class she will be in 3 days a week for 12 weeks. Now is the moment I am glad I didn’t burn that bridge. I knew who she was and I knew what she had done. I knew it had been unfair and had adversely affected my life. But I had a choice. Would all the anger and unfairness I felt at the beginning hold sway or would I choose a different path?
Embracing
I chose the different path. I embraced her. I worked with her. I cared for her. I listened to her story of injury and recovery. I encouraged her in making progress, and she did. I saw her all the way through. So much so that after the class was over and a new class started she joined that as well. We didn’t become close friends, but there is no doubt she knew I had not only forgiven her (which she may or may not have felt she needed anyway) but had embraced her and wished her well in her life. I didn’t just say it, I acted it out in my actions towards her.
That is why you don’t burn bridges. Not just because you may regret it professionally later, but because it will cut off the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation later in life.
In Your Mind
Another story, this one from an online friend. His daughter abruptly left home at age 18 without much of an explanation. She didn’t respond to repeated attempt to reconnect with her family, including old fashion letter writing on the part of her father. She had been dealing with anxiety and depression before and after she left and eventually did get medical treatment. However, she was still estranged from the entire family. But when she accidentally ran into her younger sister in public and chose to ignore her, the father witnessed the devastation the younger daughter went through. Enough was enough and he knew he had to take action.
But what action? How about burning that bridge, telling her she was persona non grata in the family for hurting the younger sister so badly? NO, of course he didn’t do that. He found a way to contact her directly and demanded they get together and talk. Others had been telling her the same thing, so she agreed.
Moving Past
He was nervous about this meeting, expecting to be confronted by the same angry daughter who had left over a year earlier. But, that is not what happened. Instead he met a mature, responsible 19 year old. One who asked forgiveness, placed no blame on her parents, and wanted to start fresh with the whole family. You don’t have to be told how great that father felt. And why did that happen? Because he didn’t burn the bridge but decided, in spite of the danger and anxiety, to cross the bridge instead. He made the effort out of love and it paid off.
Ok, a single leaf provides SOME shade, as my periscope viewers kept saying while I was drawing this live. But the point is, as evidenced by the sunburned sunbather with the silly silhouette on her stomach, it doesn’t provide ENOUGH shade. But enough shade for what? That is the question. And the answer reminds us of a larger reason behind teamwork.
Olympics
We watch the teams in the Olympics and they are so focused in the pursuit of their communal glory that we often don’t see who else they are fighting for. We forget that in their mind they want to win the Gold not just for their teammates, but for their parents and families and friends and nations. When they breakdown and cry at a medal ceremony it’s often because they are thinking of how they made their country proud, their families happy and their sports club back home so filled with pride. It wasn’t just about the team, but about what the team did for others.
And that is the essence of great teamwork: having a purpose that includes, but at the same time transcends, the team.
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You Are the Bundle
This was an interesting one to draw. Once I finished the drawing I didn’t really like it much. It just didn’t make sense. A woman holding a bundle of sticks is going to stop some jerk? The I realized it wasn’t the bundle of sticks doing the stopping, it was the woman. the WOMAN was the bundle. She was strong because of all the various ‘sticks’ she was made of. She isn’t just strong as one thing, she is strong because she is many things. Each of those things by themselves might be a weakness, but even the weakest stick is strong when in a bundle, right?
All Of You
That is why your supposed flaws are really only dangerous to you if you are ONLY your flaws. But you aren’t. You are your strength, your humor, your perseverance, your attitude, your skill, your craft, your intelligence, your wisdom, your judgment, your toughness. In with those things are also your fears, your anger, your panic, your laziness, your self-righteousness, your forgetfulness, your selfishness, your lack of common sense. They make you stronger than if you are just one thing. And that means, if you bring all those things out, even some of the negative ones, at the right time, you won’t be broken.
I had to go to the art supply store and decided that as long as I was all the way there I might as well get some coffee and create some art.
I got my giant cappuccino and settled in to draw the woman at the window. She was deep into writing and I had a feeling she would be there a while. Who knows, I might get lucky and be able to draw the entire scene before she left. Of course all I really needed was for her to stay long enough to draw her. The rest of the scene I was pretty sure would remain where it was.
I was able to finish the entire line drawing, including the background. When I went over to show her the drawing I told her I wasn’t sure what I would put in the thought bubbles but that I would probably write a short story and the words in the bubbles would be part of that story. She told me she was actually writing a film script if that helped at all. I told her it did.
Britni Harris at Fair Fellow Coffee House, Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Blame and Glory
As funny as this is, it brings up a pretty good point. The whole point of teamwork is to not place blame on individuals. The blame, and the glory, goes to the team instead. You see this all the time in sports during interviews after games that a team has lost. “WE let our fans down”, “WE didn’t execute properly”, “WE were slow to adjust” are all things you might hear from a coach or a player. No pointing at one person.
Even sports analysts not connected to the team do this. In American football, you often will hear an analyst talk about how a team is weak in a certain position. not that a particular teammate is not good enough.
Olympics
Yesterday I watched at Katie Ledecky was interviewed at the Rio Olympics. Her relay team had just won the Gold Medal in the 4x200m relay. She came back from 1 1/2 lengths behind to crush the competition and was the main reason the team won. But you heard none of that from her. She only talked about the team’s performance, not her own. Others pointed to her as the reason, but she pushed off the praise, turning it back to the team.
Knowing vs Saying
Does that mean she doesn’t know she was the reason? No, she knew. Among the coaches and athletes talked about above, did they not know who actually was to blame? Who dropped the ball at the crucial time, who didn’t live up to expectations? Of course not. They all know. But they didn’t say it outloud in public. In private, in the coaches room while figuring out the future team? Of course they talk about individuals and their performance. But in public? No. Because doing it in public is judgment. Doing it in private is evaluation. And the best teams thrive on neutral evaluation, not harsh judgment and condemnation.
You name it and if you have enough of something it can’t be overcome. Here are some examples:
Bacteria
Heat
Noise
People
Love
Pain
Stupidity
Anger
Girl Scout Cookies
They are all made up of individual parts, but put them together and they become unstoppable. One angry person? Put handcuffs on him. 10,000 angry people? You have a violent mob riot that can’t be contained with handcuffs.
Teams
I read a book called ‘The Innovators’ by Walter Isaacson earlier this year. It is the story of the invention and development of the computer and the internet revolution. A big argument that came up mid-20th century was who actually developed the first computer. There was this guy at Iowa State University, John Atanasoff, working in his University lab who came up with the idea for a computer and started to build it. But he had no team of engineers and machinists to overcome this one issue of making holes in punchcards. Because of that work stopped, WWII started and he went off to war. Meanwhile, John Mauchly and J. Presper Eckert were doing the same thing at Penn State. But they developed a team that could fill all the roles necessary to make the idea come to life. In 1945 their machine, ENIAC, became operational and they are now the ones credited with making the first true computer. The difference? a team instead of an individual.
Jealousy is a word that is used with ease. But often times it’s misused. The person says the word ‘jealous’ but what they actually mean is ‘envy’. Here is how I see the difference. Jealousy is when you don’t want someone else to have what you have (or had). Envy is when you want what someone else has.
For example, if your neighbor has a new car and you wish you had it. You are envious, not jealous. But if your neighbor steals your husband and you wish you still had him. You are jealous, not envious.
Love and Hate
The reason you are jealous in that situation is because you still love your husband (in spite of him being so stupid as to leave you). You hate him for leaving, you hate her for stealing him away but you still love him and want him back. That is why you are jealous, because you feel both things at the same time. If you simply hated them both you wouldn’t be jealous. You would be happy to get rid of the jerk. If you only felt love for him you wouldn’t be jealous, you might feel sorry for him, or maybe hopeful he has a good life, but wouldn’t want him back and you wouldn’t hate that your neighbor stole him.
A few weeks ago, when I was on hiatus from my part-time job as a running coach, I took advantage of a few free Thursday nights to go to a figure drawing session at Philbrook Museum of Art. It was the first time I had ever photographed myself drawing like this and it was very eye opening to look back and watch my own process. I recommend it to anyone doing creative work.
10 minute pose in 37 seconds
This is a contour drawing, where you are finding definition of form via the contour lines of the figure. I have often been asked over the decades about being distracted while drawing the nude due to the arousing nature of staring at a naked person. The truth is, which I think you can see in these time-lapse photos, the process is incredibly focused, with 100% of one’s mind and body working to see and translate the scene onto paper. What I have always told my students, whether as a formal college instructor or just talking to people asking questions about art, is that drawing is irreducibly only one thing. It’s marks on a piece of paper. When I draw, my focus is on making an interesting set of marks on a piece of paper.
10 minute pose in 23 seconds
This is what I call a shape drawing, where I focused first on defining the individual shapes that then end up forming the figure’s overall shape. Only after I got those shapes in place did I start to define the figure with more shading and line.
10 minute pose in 37 seconds
This is another contour line drawing. It’s done in blue colored pencil. Why? I don’t know, just wanted to try it is all. One of the big challenges of drawing a figure or scene is organizing the space in your head before you start to draw. Making sure she was going to fit in other words. That starts at the very beginning of the drawing because if you get that first element proportioned wrong, your mistakes will multiply and you will end up with the figure not being composed as you would like.
After WWII the GIs came home and started families. The US exploded in production and manufacturing, construction, innovation, and standard of living. The depression was over, the war was over. Deprivation was behind them. Now they could have nice things, go nice places on nice roads. All of which was great. But that lead to a desire to not stand out, unless it was to stand out as the best and the brightest. But certainly not to stand out as odd or eccentric.
But the truth was many of those people were faking it. They didn’t really live these great lives full of fashion and money and grace and charm. They looked like they did, but not inside. Their outsides said one thing and their insides said another. Maybe the outside said dutiful housewife, but the inside said thwarted creative. Maybe the outside said successful businessman but the inside said thwarted outdoorsman. The point isn’t about the specifics though, it’s about leading an disingenuous life. It’s about not having who you present yourself to be matching who you really are.
Thank a Hippie
And so the people who saw this first hand, saw the hypocrisy and the pain it caused, who saw the thwarted lives, who saw the waste of trying to fit in, rebelled against it. Those people were the children of those adults trying to fit in. they became the beatniks, the hippies, the yippies (look it up) the flower children, the radicals. They became the ones promoting love, peace, creativity, freedom. They were the ones that said you could be who you want to be, not who you think others want you to be.
Even though we are 40-50 years removed from that era, if you feel that you are genuinely who you want to be, you have a hippie to thank for it. Maybe not directly, but in our modern world, it started with them. And if you don’t feel you are who you want to be, if you feel you are putting on a facade that isn’t really you, then take a lesson from the hippies and take a small step out into the unknown and see if you can’t do it too. You can you know.
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What do I mean by Culture?
I mean a society’s pursuit, desire, and support for a high level of creative expression in all arenas of society. What I don’t mean is an exclusionary or elite culture that feels itself to be superior or better than another one.
Why do I believe this high level of culture means less anger and violence? Because a high culture is one a society is proud of and invested in. That means they don’t want it destroyed. They don’t want it diminished. They don’t want it to disappear. They have created something that brings joy, interest, wonder, humor, fun, discovery. Something that makes one think and allows for a thinking response. They learn and grow from it. In other words, they love it.
I do not believe we, as an overall society, have a culture like that at this time.
Why not?
Well, it’s like the very true variation on the old quote. “Grass is always greener…where you water it.” The truth is we ourselves are responsible for the cultural grass being dry and dead. How so?
We contribute to it by not buying real art from real artists.
We contribute to it when we are more interested in judging creative expression than we are in understanding it.
We contribute to it by not speaking up when ugly buildings are built and when streets are filled with chain store after chain restaurant.
We contribute to it by not caring or being involved in city and town planning.
We contribute to it when we agree to the cutting of arts budgets from public schools.
We contribute to it by watching violence and mayhem as entertainment again and again and again.
We contribute to it by decrying any use of public funds for creative endeavors.
We contribute to it by not reading.
We contribute to it by not being interested in other cultures.
In other words, to use a variation on another famous quote, “For culture to disappear, all it takes is for good people to do nothing.”
Some of the saddest reports I read in the newspaper each day (yep, I read the paper) are the ones about a mother and father being arrested for child neglect. They break my heart just as much as some much more violent reports. Why is that?
Big Hate –
We often see hate on display these days in terrorist attacks, violent protests, angry authority figures, politics and murder. You may even have hate spewed at you personally once in a while. Hate is not that hard to spot, is it.
Small Hate –
But hate isn’t just the loud mouth, the siren, the volcano. It’s also the indifference of one group for another in pain. It’s the neglect a society shows towards the weakest or most vulnerable. It’s the irresponsible parent who would rather fulfill their own addictions and desires than take care of their child’s needs.
Tragic –
But what is it they hate exactly? Do they hate the child? I think they hate not being able to indulge. They can’t be who they want to be with a child alongside them. And that leads to resentment and hatred for their child. Can you think of anything more emotionally tragic than that for a child? I can’t. That parent may say they don’t want to hurt their child and so they don’t actively show hate towards them. But their ignoring of their needs, their purposeful lack of attention to their wants, is hate nonetheless.
Every Day –
Love isn’t about extravagant birthday celebrations and big vacations. It’s not about giving the best of everything to your child. It’s about paying attention to them. It’s about turning away from what you want and need and paying attention to what they want and need.
I drew this drawing of the crowd with two police officers representing love and hate on the morning of the Dallas protest, before the police officers were killed and wounded. I was going to post it the next morning but felt it would be insensitive to do so. It was now an incomplete statement.
So over the next few days I drew this one as a companion piece. It shows the opposite scene. Not cops in charge, but the crowd. The crowd has the power of love and hate just as much as the cops do.
Every Day
We as people must always decide, every day, whether we are going to act and react with love or hate. When violence happens to someone, especially someone you don’t know and might be scared of, or antagonistic towards, are you looking for a reason to not care? That means your heart is moving towards hate. It is hardening. You are telling it that those people don’t care. That they deserved it.
Only one person in the past week has deserved anything close to the fate of death, and that was the killer of the 5 police officers. But even then, you don’t have to say or feel it with hate. You can say it sadness that his life went so terribly awry, you can feel it with love and compassion for the families left behind.
Part of the Problem
The other 16 people? They didn’t deserve to be wounded or die. If your political position is such that you are hating one of these people; the cops who shot Alton Sterling and Philandro Castile, or Alton and Philandro themselves, then you are slowly but surely marching into the ‘part of the problem’ column. If you feel the shooting of the 14 people in Dallas was in any way justified, you are already deep into that column and need a wake up call.
Age 80
Imagine yourself at age 80. Who are you? Your decisions now, every day, are making you into that person. Do you want that person to be hateful, bitter, angry, resentful? If you do, then practice those things and you will become them. If you don’t, if you want, at age 80, to be kind, loving, forgiving, understanding, compassionate then you must practice those things now and every day. It’s how life works: You become what you practice.
The woman rubbed the tea pot and a Genie came out. The woman said, “Wow, this is amazing! I am going to wish for…”
But the Genie stopped her and said, “Sorry, I am not that kind of Genie. I don’t grant wishes and I don’t do dishes. I am a comedian, all I do is tell jokes.” And with that the Genie rolled herself into a ball and floated out of the room through the vent.
The Genie eventually made it big and got her own sitcom. But the woman who rubbed the teapot was bitter about it for the rest of her life.
